Quest

Okay...

2008-12-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

I lied. It's snowing again! We'll see how long it lasts this time.

White Christmas!

2008-12-26T11:35:00.001-08:00

Well, since my last post, we have ended up with yet another 2" on the ground. I do believe the snow is done with us for the year, however. Things are warming up and beginning to melt. It was spectacular to have a foot of snow on the ground and snow falling Christmas morning. Big flakes!

This was Shae's and Kent's first white Christmas ever. It was only about my 3rd. I'm glad the boy is old enough that he'll remember because odds are he won't see another white Christmas for many years.

Christmas Eve morning was spent at the church building clearing pathways, changing signs and attempting to clear the parking lot of all that snow. We discovered it was more than one day could manage. Because conditions would be icy and the parking lot a disaster, Christmas Eve services were canceled. We were all bummed about that. The kids had worked really hard on the Nativity presentation and we didn't get to have our "Starlight Christmas", but it was better to do what we could to keep people off the roads.

Christmas was a quiet, relaxing family time. We awoke to "Get up! It's Christmas! Get up!" Very fun! All Shae had asked for was a toy soldier (the red & black one like in all the Christmas movies) and a hamster. Couldn't find the soldier so we picked up a couple of boxes of 6" Nutcrackers - which he collects - and set them up in formation in front of the tree. "Are these mine? Are they for me?" There was no tag so he didn't want to jump to conclusions, but there was hope as well as excitement in his voice. We're still discussing the hamster.

After dinner, the neighbor came over for a visit. We sat around talking and watching Kent and Shae put together a motorized K'nex contraption - an "octopus" something or other, like an amusement park ride. His Lego people fit in it so great fun was had watching them spin around. I think he wants to make the roller coaster next. Not sure where we would put that!

The house is quiet at the moment. Kent took Shae to work with him this morning. I think I'll enjoy my quiet and my new iPod Nano (yay!) I rarely sit down to read anymore so I thought a Nano might be useful for audio books. Now my dilemma is deciding what book to get first.

Enjoy your day!

BTW, check out the video I posted. What d'ya think?

Another Snow Day!

2008-12-23T15:30:00.000-08:00

Kent was going to go to work today, but by the time we got the car dug out (buried by snowplows), he had decided to stay home. The church parking lot is still buried anyway.

Instead, we took the tub we were using to dig out the van to the back yard and tried our hand at "igloo" building. Shae has lovingly dubbed his "Seattle Snow Fort".

We ended up staying outside for about 5 hrs...until my stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten yet today. By then it was about 2pm. We had a great time! The neighbor-lady enjoyed watching our fun. She's a shut-in and has always loved watching Zak play in the yard so we positioned the fort in front of her back door (glass french-doors so she can watch).

At one point, Shae decided to go in because he was too cold. He proceeded to make his lunch while Kent and I continued working on the fort. Struck me as funny that the parents were playing in the snow while the child was inside "cooking".

Ah well. Hope you are all enjoying the winter wonder as much as we are!

More Snow!

2008-12-22T16:01:00.000-08:00

Well, we woke up to yet more snow on the ground this morning. Yesterday afternoon it began falling again and continued into the early morning hours. This snowfall added about 3 inches, making our grand total between 9-10 inches of the white fluffy stuff. A rare occurrence in this neighborhood. The last time we saw accumulations like this was back in '96. It snowed about 5 inches one day, the next day added about 8" more. Then it rained - and I mean a downpour. It was crazy! Thankfully, that much has not been repeated this year.

I must admit, I am enjoying the snow. We don't have to get out in it so I can sit and peacefully admire the beauty.

Many blessings to you this Christmas season.

Can You Believe It?

2008-12-21T09:52:00.000-08:00

For the first time ever, I think, we have canceled church services due to weather.

We got up early this morning, unsure if we would be driving or walking. The snowplows had come thru so we drove. Roads are a little slick, but we made it to the building without any difficulty. The parking lot was another story. We got stuck trying to get into the lot! We had chains in the van (too small for the tires), and they worked well to give us some traction and get us back onto the street. Needless to say, we determined the parking lot to be inaccessible. After changing the answering machine, posting signs, beginning a phone chain and emailing everybody, we headed back with an extra passenger. Sean, the keyboardest for the morning, had arrived (walking) so we took him back to his place.

We got home and immediately began exploring the complex parking lot & yard (well, Shae & I did). Sure is beautiful! After taking a few pic's (which I'll try to put up later) we played trucks in the snow. The ruler measured nearly 7"! Made great gullies for the trucks to drive into.

Now we're inside, toasty warm, with breakfast and hot chocolate. Hope y'all are enjoying your day wherever you may be!

Merry Christmas!

Hello!

2008-11-10T15:22:00.000-08:00

Wow! Where to even begin....

Let's see. Since I last blogged, we've had two birthdays, Trunk-or-Treat and piano lessons. I'm sure there have been other things as well, but we'll start there.

For Kent's birthday, we just did a family thing and went out to dinner. Very low key, but nice. We ate at Red Robin where Shae was very excited to have the work staff sing Happy Birthday to "Daddy". Bonus! They found out he was having a birthday that same week so they both got free Sundays.

For Shae's birthday, we put together a pool party. He invited friends from church and school (and their families) to join us at the Fircrest Pool for swimming, cake and cookies (not in the pool!) Everyone seemed to have a good time. Shae and Dad had fun decorating the cake, for sure! Turned out pretty good!

Trunk-or-Treat was a big success. Kent, Shae, and Ian (a friend) put together a Star Wars themed trunk with black lights, targets and nerf guns. Everyone had lots of fun. It's gonna take a while to plow thru all the goodies he brought back even tho he was generous about sharing the treats. Lots of sugar!

Shae also began piano lessons in October. He is really enjoying it and is excited to show his grandparents when we head to Oregon for Thanksgiving. It'll be a surprise because we haven't told them he's started lessons yet.

As for Kent and I, things are still plugging along. We've hit the holiday season and, although we're not doing a Christmas production this year, there is still plenty to do...especially with going out of town.

We are also hoping to go to the Christian Musician's Summit this coming weekend. This will be the 3rd or 4th time we've gone. It is always so much fun. There's nothing like getting 4000 musicians/worship leaders together to sing and jam. Way cool! I always learn something new, and have an absolute blast. Just wish more people from NW were going. I think it's a really valuable conference. Well, maybe next year. I think it's just me and Kent going this year.

Anyway, in a nutshell, that's what we've been up to lately. I'll try to get some new pic's up soon. I actually have them in the computer now so it's just a matter of putting them on the site.

Hope y'all are having a great fall!

Later!

2008-10-31T10:49:00.000-07:00

Wow! I am way behind in my blogging! All kinds of things have been going on, from birthdays to Halloween. I'll get you updated soon...with pic's! For now, I just wanted to pop in and say "Hi!" and "Yes, I am still breathing!"

Love you guys!

Cassie

Home Again!

2008-09-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

Well, after two weeks in the great state of Texas, we've managed to find our way back home.

We had a great time visiting with family for the first week. We celebrated "Grandmother's" 90th birthday and met bunches of new people. It was fun to visit with everyone.

The kids really enjoyed each other. Shae was thrilled to be able to catch a little gecko lizard! It stayed in his hand for quite awhile before running off.

Saturday afternoon, Kent and I headed off to Abilene for the ACU lectureship while Shae stayed behind in Granbury.

The classes were pretty good (those that we attended), but mostly we enjoyed visiting with people. We played catch-up with old friends, and met new ones. I finally got to put faces with some names I've heard forever. Kent enjoyed his meeting with several friends, new and old.

We went to church at Southern Hills on Sunday. It was short & sweet, and reminded us of NW in some ways. They had posters all over the walls that said "Transforming Community". Hmmm. Didn't realize it at the time, but it's the same church Jeff Berryman's mom attends. Would've been fun to talk to her.

We all came back with colds. Don't know if it was the plane trip down, or someone at the birthday party, but Kent ended up with a sinus/ear infection. His brother, Trace, was sick for a couple days. Shae is sniffly/snuffly and coughing. Kent's mom is coughing. I've got swollen glands that are pretty sore and I'm wondering if I have an ear infection, too. Ugh.

Oh well. No trip is perfect. Dunno if I'll be at church on Sunday or not. We'll see how I feel. I hope to be better. Jarod, from Kenya (not even gonna try to spell his last name!) is speaking this week. We ran into him at ACU last week. Didn't know he'd be there! Too funny.

Anyway, looking forward to seeing everyone again. Hope you are all well and healthy.

Later!

EEG Report

2008-08-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

We just got home from the hospital. It's been a long 24 hrs!

We stayed up till midnight watching movies and playing games. Then we had to get up at 4am after only sleeping about 3.5-4 hrs.

We arrived at the EEG lab early and got checked in with no problem. Shae did really well laying still as the tech measured, marked, scrubbed and attached electrodes...until he got down to the last few. Shae's patience ran out. He was a little scared of the whole thing and being sleep-deprived greatly exasperated things. He nearly pulled out the already fixed electrodes in a grab for "Dad". His melt-down only lasted about 10 minutes - maybe less. After that, things went well again. He fell asleep like he was supposed to and woke up in a much better mood (the "nap" was about 15 minutes).

After that, we headed to IHOP for some food and then back to the hospital parking lot for a nap (it was easier than battling traffic to go home, only to come back). We met with the Dr. at 2:30.

She did some other physical tests in her office (walking on tip-toe, checking peripheral vision...) and pronounced Shae to be perfectly healthy! The EEG showed totally normal and she determined that the episodes with his eyes is a tic.

She said that he may deal with tics his whole life. They may come and go, and change symptoms (ie, it may be a grimace, it may be vocal, throat clearing....). She also said that it does not need any treatment.

Very good news for all of us. We've been researching everything from eye strain to epilepsy, trying to place the symptoms. Now, I guess we'll read up on tics.

Thanks for all your prayers! They were (and are) greatly appreciated!

2008-08-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

Shae seems to be doing a lot better today, but we went ahead and scheduled an EEG. We go in Wed. morning, 8am. (A miracle that we could get in this soon! They were talking the end of September unless there was a cancellation - there was! Yay, God!) It's a sleep deprivation EEG so he can get no more than 4 hrs of sleep before the test (so neither can I!)

Doesn't that sound like fun?

He will have time to nap after the test / before the Dr. appointment at 2:45.

Please pray that the test reveals what the issue is (or was) so that we can have some peace of mind.

Thank you!

Update...

2008-08-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

So, no pictures of the new glasses. They look really nice on him, and he doesn't mind wearing them (he only needs them for distance). You should have seen him when he first put them on. His eyes are not that bad, but it was like a whole new world had opened up before him.

Saturday (a week ago) was the Shoreline Parade & Festival. NW Church participated and so we were there most of the day. I took Shae up to watch the parade and he was wearing his glasses. About halfway thru the parade, so he tells me, he began to get a headache.

He still has that headache today, although he says it's getting better. He's also doing weird things with his eyes (don't ask me to describe it - I can't). He's been to his dr and his eye dr. Tomorrow we're going to try to schedule an EEG.

Those of you who pray, please do. It's quite disconcerting to not know what's happening. It's breaking our hearts to see him go thru this and not know how to help him. We've been making him rest a lot and are keeping him away from TV/computer screens and reading. Poor kid's got to be going stir crazy, but he's going along with it more or less gracefully.

I'll update you when I know more. In the meantime, please pray for us.

Lost & Found

2008-08-02T23:36:00.000-07:00

We spent the day cleaning! Under the bed, off the shelves, around the corners.... It was a very productive day! The best thing that happened....

Kent opened up his acoustic guitar case and found a backpack. A backpack I thought had gotten mixed up with "give away" stuff several years ago. So what? you may be thinking. This backpack was storage for recordings of Shae from birth to age 3 or so. I thought those tapes were gone forever. I cried many tears over them and battled knots in my stomach.

And there it was, tapes and all.

Today, there were tears of joy! God is good in so many ways!

Here's hoping for small miracles in your life today!

2008-07-31T18:23:00.000-07:00

Hello!

Things have been hoppin' around here lately. I had a get-together with friends from the past (and present) this week. That was great fun and very encouraging.

Last week was the drama/music camp at NW Church. Zakary Shae participated in the music camp and had a great time - as long as he didn't have to go on stage for the performance. He's a pretty talented kid, but is going through some stage-fright issues. So instead of performing, he passed out flyers to those attending and ran the power-point screens for the drama camp. He did a great job, too!

Zak - I mean, Shae- started swimming lessons on Monday. That's going pretty well. He's doing the M-F thing. It really helps him to go everyday. He is enjoying the lessons and really likes his teacher. There are three other kids in the class (all girls!) so it's very manageable. He can back float now, without the teacher holding him up. Yay!

Today, Kent took Shae to the eye doctor for his first official exam. Turns out he's just slightly near-sighted (go figure!) They went ahead and ordered glasses for him (back to school specials!) and they should be in in about a week. I'll post a pic. I'm sure he'll look very smart. :)

Well, that's about it for now. Not much else going on at the moment. Hope y'all are doing well.

The One That Didn't Get Away!

2008-07-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

We went fishing the other day, for the first time this season. I finally got to break in my new pole! 'Course I didn't catch anything but seaweed, although I did feel a nibble once. Kent didn't catch anything either (except more seaweed). Shae, on the other hand, put the net down and pulled up a crab! He was very excited...till we measured it and discovered it was half an inch too small. Back he went.

Now desperate to catch a keeper, he lowered the net and let it soak longer. When we pulled it up, there was another crab - bigger! This one was about 6 inches - well within keeping range. Oh the joy!

We talked about how it was not going to be a pet. It was going to be dinner (at least for Shae - not much meat on it). It would be his first taste of crab meat (and he caught it himself!). So excited!

I felt so bad tho, when it came time to do the deed. He understood the crab would die to become his dinner and he was okay with that, but still a little sad. He said his goodbyes and told the crab "I'll see you in Heaven. Maybe you can live in my room."

If that doesn't just bring tears to your eyes!

We're keeping the shell as a token of his first catch.

Hi Everybody!

2008-07-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

We're back!

It's been a busy month! We spent a day in San Diego before joining other ClubRust organizers for shopping and heading down to Mexico. We were in Tecate for about a week - the building went very well. There were lots of new people this year (again!) When we returned to the states, we traded the cargo van for a Kia and headed up to Anaheim (sp?). You guessed it! Disneyland! We spent three days hopping between Disney and California Adventure. We had lots of fun - just ask Shae (most of you know him as Zak - he has decided to go by his middle name. After all, Daddy does!) One of those days, we were joined by NW/ClubRust friends, the Owens. That was very fun!

Now we're back home and still recovering from vacation and possibly mild salmonella poisoning. Kent was sick while we were in CA. So was I, but not as bad. Poor guy did Disneyland anyway. What a trooper! Anyway, when we got back we looked up the symptoms of Salmonella just for kicks and he had nearly every one of them! I had a few. I am still feeling run-down, but okay. Shae never was sick.

Oh, BTW, it's my birthday! Another year gone by. Wow. They really do go fast anymore!

I'm hoping to get some photos of the trip up soon. They're all on the computer, I just have to get them onto the page.

Hope y'all are having a great day! What gorgeous weather we're having (especially after 95+ down south)! Enjoy it!

2008-06-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

How is everyone out there in cyberland? Things here are going pretty well, I think.

Change is in the air- be it the weather, the end of the school year, or the happenings with the congregation- things are changing. I can "feel it in my bones". My own "bones" have some changing to do as well.

I realized the other day that I keep telling my son that if he doesn't like the times he's getting on his math work, to do something about it. "Make yourself focus", I say. "Concentrate. No one can do that for you." It was sort of an "ah ha" for me because there are things in my life I have struggled with for years ("I want to do this, but I just can't seem to...."). I suddenly realized I need to take my own advice. If I want to develop a habit of getting up earlier, then I need to get up earlier...Just Do It! Nobody's going to drag me out of bed (most mornings!).

I guess it's a matter of deciding it's something I really want and going for it. Now, I know I can't do things on my own strength, but God has not left me powerless. I have just failed to tap into that power which is available for the asking.

So this summer, for me, is about tapping into that power. It's about allowing God to do in me what He has wanted to for so long - what I have wanted for Him to do - just not bad enough to do anything about it.

Change is scary, and habits are hard to break - Help me, God. I'm gonna need it!

Later!

Hello!

2008-05-11T23:21:00.000-07:00

Boy, who's supposed to be maintaining this blog site? Whoever it is, is sure doing a crummy job! Maybe I should take over.

Hmmm.....well....

A lot has been going on over the last few months. I'm not going to tell you everything. Sorry I've been so scarce.

I will tell you that Kent and I went to a great Phil Keaggy concert last night. It was further south than we anticipated, and, what with traffic, it took us about an hour & half to get there. We were running late - also due to traffic, mostly- so we opted to skip dinner and go straight to the music. We were dog-tired too. The music was fabulous, but mello which did not help with the sleepies. And then there was the drive back.

We picked up Zak (who has decided he now likes his middle name better and requests that we call him Shae) from the babysitter, came home and went to bed. Well, I went to bed. Kent had to finish up a couple things for church this morning.

Services went well this morning. I helped with vocals both services. That was fun. Got a Mother's Day card from my guys who also took me out for lunch (McGrath's Fish House - Yum!)

Now, I'm seriously considering going to bed. All in all it was a good day.

On a sadder note, I received word a couple days ago that my nephew, Lenn, was killed in a motorcycle accident in Conneticut. He and a friend were on the same bike at around 1am, and I guess they failed to negotiate a turn. They were both pronounced dead at the scene.

Bikers out there pay heed! Neither one was wearing a helmet. Lenn was 33 and has a 9 yr old (approx) daughter. She was with her mother (divorced) in Oregon when the accident happened.

Mom said a sort of wake was held for him and they were able to hook things up so that Ivy (his daughter) could participate in it. Hopefully, that will help her gain some closure, or something. Please pray for healing for this family. And guidance for me to know what I should do.

Well, that's all for now. I'll try not to be too long before the next post! Till then...

I am still alive!

2008-03-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

Been doing much lurking lately, but not much writing. I've decided to begin writing by reading various books (other than children's literature, that is). Some are on such topics as Faith and Art, others not. I've just recently obtained a copy of Blue Like Jazz from the library and look forward to beginning it. I am finding it hard to just sit and read, although it's something I enjoy. Mounds of laundry and rooms that need attention often protrude upon my thoughts, distracting me from the words and their meaning.

This coming Saturday, I've been invited to share with a new mom's group. I was at one time a preschool teacher, and also spent time in daycare working with the 12-14 mos set. Parental boot-camp, I call it. They are looking for ideas of games & activities to do with their young ones. Boy, it's been awhile for me, but hopefully I'll come up with something useful. It'll be fun anyway! I'll let you know how it goes.

ACU spring break campaigners also arrive this weekend. They come up every year to work around town and experience Seattle for a week. It always proves to be an enlightening time for everyone involved.

We are also prepping for Easter and all that comes with it. It's one of my favorite times of year because of the hope and newness of life that Easter and Spring usher in. My mother will be here for Easter week this year as well. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving so it will be good to visit. Zak is happy to relinquish his bed for her (plus, he "gets to" sleep in the living room)!

Well, that's it for now. I'll try and update you again soon. Till then....

Remember Good Friday as you celebrate this Easter. It's not all about the chocolate bunny.

Tangible Trust

2008-02-04T22:36:00.000-08:00

For all my son's life, I've tried to teach him that God can be trusted-that no matter what happens, we can rely upon God to do the right thing. I do believe that, but often it seems an abstract concept removed from the vigors of daily life....not so today.

You've read my previous posts regarding my husband's accident. What you may not know is that just a couple weeks prior to that dreadful/blessed event, the alternator in my van gave out...while I was driving it. That incident also showed me God's hand in that the van did not quit while driving 40 mph down Aurora. It quit about a block after I turned off and just as I was turning into the driveway of NW Hospital-right in front of a gate attendant with a phone book. He helped me push the van out of the way, too.

When the Geo was totaled, I looked back on this and saw God at work. The van quit then because God knew we would need it later and it needed to be fixed.

So what does this have to do with today? After taking Kent to work, Zak and I headed out for a couple of stores. As we were pulling into the second store, I noticed steam rising from the front end. "Uh oh," I thought. "Radiator's dry." It sure enough was (I've had a slow leak for a while.) We lingered in the store so the engine had time to cool down enough for me to put water in it. A full gallon later I figured we were ready to go. I started the engine and could actually hear liquid flowing over the noise of the van. I shut the engine off and got out to look. All the water I had just put in was pouring out from underneath the vehicle. "Great!" I bought another gallon-just in case-and headed up to the church building to talk to Kent. I ended up taking it in to the mechanic hoping it was a hose and not the radiator.

So which was it? Neither. The leak is coming from the intake manifold (a $900 repair job!). The van's not worth that much. Our wonderful mechanic did a "stop leak" temporary fix on it to try to buy us some time. I left nearly in tears and none too happy with God ("Haven't we been thru enough this year already?") But still I trust-frustrated, tempted toward despair-but still hoping and believing that somewhere, somehow God has a plan for all this. We've been too blessed for it to be anything else.

This afternoon we received a call from friends who said that God has "laid it on [their] hearts" to offer us their extra van.

I am truly humbled. God never fails me-us. When things get hard, and I'm at the end of my rope, God is always there to say, "Don't worry. I've got you." I fuss and pitch a fit and God doesn't yell, He says, "I'm glad you came to me."

I don't get it. But I'm sure glad He's that way.

I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I think I'll continue trusting that God will cause all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Hello Everyone!

2008-01-27T17:04:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd pop in and say hi. Not much "newsie" going on. We are still a one-vehicle family. School is going pretty well, as is band practice. It has been quite a year thus far and, I believe, will continue to be "quite a year". NW is deep in the transition process. It's a bit like the Israelites following the the cloud/pillar of fire thru the desert. No one really knows where we're going, but we'll know when we get there 'cuz God will say, "OK, this is it!" Waiting for that day.

Our challenge from the pulpit a couple weeks ago was to single out a command of Jesus and resolve to keep it this year...consistently. My "verse" comes from Matthew 25 (no, not the sheep & the goats - before that). From the parable of the talents, I have derived that I need to be "faithful in the small things". That is my challenge this year. Now what that looks like I'm still discovering, but it has to do with daily life - keeping up with the dishes, laundry & lesson plans. Keeping ice tea in the fridge and ice cubes in the freezer...and to develop the disciplines of exercising regularly and writing daily. These have always been tough things for me. I'm one of those "creative thinkers" that has great ideas, but is lousy at implementing them. Pray for me. I'm gonna need it! Especially when it comes to carving out specific times for these last two. Reason says to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. My night-owl nature is saying, "yeah, right". I suppose I could stay up later to write (and have been known to do so), but then I want to sleep in which gives us (me & Zak) a late start on school. Somewhere there's an ideal plan, but I haven't come up with it yet.

Hope ya'll are doing well. Talk atcha later!

The saga continues...

2008-01-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

Kent went to the dr. today to get checked out. The verdict is sprained neck muscles and a mild concussion. He is doing better today, but still stiff and sore. Thanks for all the prayers I'm sure you're sending up.

The insurance agent came by to check out the car this morning. He thinks it's totaled. No surprise there.

The cops and the driver Kent was pushed into both called today to see how he was doing. How nice is that!

Everything that could go right in this situation has gone right. At least it seems that way. No one sustained any serious injuries. There were multiple cooperative witnesses (that in itself borders on the miraculous!). The perpetrator was found and arrested quickly. We're still awaiting the outcome with all the insurance stuff, but our company has already reserved a rental for Kent to use if he wants it.

Crazy way to start the new year, but I gotta say, it's a whole lot easier to replace a car than a husband/father! I am definitely starting this year with a thankful heart.

Later!

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T23:40:00.001-08:00

This morning, our biggest decision was whether or not to attend one of the many game nights scheduled to ring in the new year.

Many people are out, ready to start the new year with a bang. Ours certainly has. A bang, a crash, a crunch....

Kent called me as he was sitting in the drive-thru line at the bank this afternoon. He was going to deposit his check then head home. About an hour later he still wasn't home, but I wasn't concerned. I figured he'd stopped at the store. We haven't gone grocery shopping yet since returning from Texas.

When he did finally walk thru the door, the first words out of his mouth were, "You can go, but I don't think I'm going anywhere tonight. I was just hit by a drunk driver." My first response was, "Are you serious?" He was.

The car is pretty banged up. The seat he was in is busted.

Apparently the car in front of him was slowing to a stop, as was Kent. They were only going about 5 mph, if that. Kent got slammed from behind and pushed into the car in front of him. The driver who hit him took off, thus making it a felony hit-n-run. The driver in front, and a couple of people on the street, saw the whole thing and took down the license plate # and called 911.

Fire trucks, paramedics, cops....I guess everybody showed up. Kent was dazed and has a bump on his head, but he's ok. The cops caught the guy and believed him to be "under the influence" of something. The witnesses on the street agreed to ID the guy and so he was arrested.

And me? I'm strangely calm. I could look at this and say, "God, with everything else that's gone on this year, why did you allow this?", etc.

But the way I look at it is, "Wow! God you are really taking care of us." It could have been so much worse than whiplash and a bump. I'm also thankful that Zak was not with him. He usually sits where the brunt of the impact was.

God truly is good.

So this new year, we really do have something to celebrate...God's faithfulness to those who love Him. We can't see what's around the corner, but God knows. And He is faithful.

May your new year be blessed. Ours sure is.

I'm Back!

2007-12-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

Did you miss me? Probably not if you were as busy as I was! The musical went great! It was tons of fun. We performed for 5 audiences, struck the set and had the cast party. After that came the arts ministry Christmas party, then the staff/elders Christmas party. The 18th found us packed up and on our way to Texas for Christmas. We had a great time visiting with family. Several of us went to 6 Flags for an evening of "Christmas in the Park". We picked a great day for it. Beautiful weather- no wind, fairly warm, clear skies. The next day was cold, cloudy and windy. God blessed us. A good time was had, but man, is it good to be home! We were all a little stressed by the end of the trip because of the constant activity and noise (we stayed with Kent's parents who have 3 little ones at home). Zak enjoyed the constant playmates, but even he was ready to be home. We walked thru the door (at our place) last night and the first thing Zak did was go to his room and lay down on his bed. You should have seen his smile! Home...my own bed...my own space! The look said it all.

Today we spent just relaxing, opening the presents we hadn't taken with us, playing games.... All in all a very pleasant day. You might even say peaceful. Here's praying that peace envelopes your family as well.

More later.

Opening Night!

2007-12-07T00:16:00.000-08:00

We opened "Winterland: The Quest for Christmas" tonight. It went great! There were a couple of slip ups, but nothing the audience could attest to. What fun we had. It will only get better from here.

You've gotta stop by and see us if you're in the area! It will be well worth your while!

A quiet moment...

2007-11-29T09:38:00.000-08:00

...in the midst of craziness.

The "boys" are out for the day, leaving me with some much needed quiet and rest. Thought I'd take a moment and check in with y'all.

This is the busiest time of year for our family, but it's also a very fun time. Monday of Thanksgiving week found us in the car on the way to Oregon to spend time (and a yummy dinner!) with my parents and a brother. That morning, I woke up with a sore throat which progressed to a full-blown cold over the week. The trip was still enjoyable, but not as much as I would've liked. It was good to see family.

Of course, now, back in Seattle, I'm struggling to regain my voice. The congestion is mostly gone and the voice is coming back, but it's not there yet. A little disconcerting with the performances just days away. I'm babying it this week and that seems to be working. Everyday it's a little stronger. Those of you who pray, please do. Many people have been sick lately and we really need everyone to be in top form next week.

I hope you can come. The play is going to be fabulous! That is, unless it snows. The forecast has been calling for snow on Sunday. Performances begin Thursday after that and we really don't want to miss any rehearsals. We are having so much fun with this, but it is a lot of work. This year takes our performances to a whole new level, unlike anything we've ever done before. I can't wait to see it all come together! Each practice takes us closer to that final, seamless show. You gotta be there! It wouldn't be the same without you!

This is also the month for Christmas parties. We have at least three in the next couple of weeks. Then on the 18th we're flying out to Texas to visit family there. This will be the first time in our married (and engaged!) lives that we have not been here at home for Christmas. Things will be different, but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again. It's been awhile.

Schooling for Zak has changed to the "holiday schedule" which means fewer worksheets, more reading, games and artsy things. It's a more relaxed pace which we enjoy. He is still attending classes two days a week and loves being there with his friends. I'm working in the office while he's in class which gives me a nice paycheck every month. It helps anyway.

You probably won't see me too much this month (just like November), but I'll be around here & there. I hope things are going well with you this month as you endeavor to find Christmas in the midst of all this "Winterland". Look past the shiny red and green, into the dingy barn where you'll find the ocupied feed trough. That is where you'll find Christmas.

Have a merry one!

Trunk or Treat

2007-10-31T23:41:00.000-07:00

Trunk or Treat seemed to be a great success again this year. The crowd was smaller, but everyone seemed to have a good time. There were prizes and candy for all, plus hot chocolate, apple cider, hot dogs and a maze. Jellybean, the clown was also there, passing out balloons in all shapes and sizes (who knew white balloons could be twisted into a skeleton shape?) The air was filled with laughter and halloween oldies (think Monster Mash). It was cold, but not as cold as last year. It was dry, too - a rare October 31 occurrence in these parts.

Now it's off to bed with visions of sugar...pumpkins?...dancing in our heads!

Happy November 1st, everyone! Wow! Can you believe it's here again already?

The craziness continues...

2007-10-30T17:18:00.000-07:00

While I have a minute (literally) I thought I'd pop in and let you know I'm still among the breathing. This is the time of year where Kent and I kiss at the door and say, "See you after the musical."

Add to the rehearsals homeschooling and planning, AWANA and playdates that are in my own life, as well as meetings and unusual happenings in the congregation's life and my husband's...not to mention all the activities of the holiday season plus upcoming travels...and you have a glimpse into the craziness that is us.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I really enjoy this time of year. The Christmas musical is going to be fabulous (you should come!) and it is so much fun to work on & be a part of.

School is going well, too. I have all kinds of projects I want for us to do in the near future if I can just figure out how to fit it all in!

The church is (if you read "Autumn") in the dead of winter; the leaves have fallen off the tree and you have to wonder what's happening beyond what can be seen. However, there is hope that spring is approaching. The signs of life are readily apparent if you know where to look. God is moving. He is actively preparing us for what is to come. I've always said, "Life with God is an adventure", this is no exception.

Anyway, luv you guys. Thanks for being patient with me. I'll try to check in again soon. Time for AWANA!

Happy Birthday!

2007-10-20T00:33:00.000-07:00

Today is my hunny's birthday! May it be a joyous one!

Wednesday, we also celebrate Zak's birthday. Seven years old...talk about time marching on! How did that happen?

Time...

2007-10-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

Time is marching ever onward; it waits for no one.

There is no saying, "Hey! Wait for me!" or, "You go on ahead. I'll catch up."

No. Time goes on and drags you with it, kicking and screaming or stoically proceeding. It doesn't matter. You are going. And the question ends up being not where are you going, but how.

How have you spent your time this week? Have you enjoyed the people God has placed in your life, or have they been a nuisance? Did you take delight in the vibrant colors of the season, or grumble at the power outage? Did you savor the flavor of that morning latte, or were you disgruntled because the line was too long?

I know bad stuff goes on all the time, but there's good stuff, too. Time is in limited quantities. It will not go on indefinitely. My piano teacher used to say, "Each minute that passes is a minute we will never see again."

All I'm saying, I think, is that we need to be careful how we choose to spend the time we have. We have an eternal destination, but what about the journey there? If you take a road trip across the country to visit relatives, is that trip really all about the destination? Or is there important stuff that goes on all along the journey? (Of course, the way some of you drive, it is all about the destination!)

Well, I've been accused of being idealistic before. I suppose that's what I'm being now (not to mention the fact that I'm half asleep). I guess when I look at the falling leaves, I like to see the colors and not the death. What can I say?

God, help me with my own attitudes. Help me to remember the journey and not just the destination.

Abundant Life.

Autumn

2007-10-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

Autumn…

Falling leaves, bright orange and red and yellow

That cool crisp feel to the air that takes your breath away

Invigorating, a promise of change

But before that newness of life there must come death

Bitter cold; bone-chilling winds; rain

Death of what has been

In good time, beauty will burst forth from the wreckage

Color will once again revitalize as the sun brings warmth

Life rises up in full bloom; an unstoppable force

Cassie Landrum

10/2007

San Diego Architecture

2007-09-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

We spent a day or so in San Diego before driving down to Mexico this last July. We spent several hours just walking around. Our walk led us through some fantastic architectural sites! Even our 6 yr old son marveled at what he saw and encouraged me (like I needed any!) to take lots of pictures. I finally found some of them and thought I'd share. The captions on them are by no means set-in-stone titles, but I felt like I ought to call them something just to keep them straight. I'll add a few more photos from the last few months over the next week or two. Let me know what your favorites are!

A Random Metaphor...

2007-09-22T16:44:00.001-07:00

Truth.

Truth is a lighted candle in a darkened room.

When handled properly, it provides illumination, enables clear vision, lights the way. It even offers warmth and comfort.

Try to hide the truth and one of two things will happen. Either the flame will erupt, burning the cover and everything nearby, or the flame will be extinguished entirely, leaving the room in utter darkness.

Truth is a powerful force, not to be toyed with.

Here's a random thought....

2007-09-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

This is one of my most recent.

A scripture passage was brought up during the sermon on Sunday (Well done, Jeff!) which is actually one of my favorites. Ephesians chapter one has all kinds of interesting, thought provoking tidbits in it worthy of much "chewing". I went back and chewed a little after the sermon.

The words that usually stand out to me are (depending on translation) "lavished", "mystery", "riches", "kind intention"...you get the idea. Well, this time something else hit me.

Look at verse 4..."just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world..." It's that last phrase that really caught me- "before the foundation of the world".

So...God knew all about what was going to happen with the fall and the flood and Jesus' sacrifice....before He even created the world? He looked at all that would be and still thought we were worth the price He would have to pay in order for us to be in relationship with Him.

That blows me away! Although, with the flood, I kind of get the idea maybe He was having second thoughts, but...

I picture God standing back and looking at the timeline. He's outside of time, right? So He can see the beginning, middle and end-at the same time, I suppose. He knows the results of all that happens before it even happens at our end. I figure that's why He can orchestrate things to get the right book to the right person at just the right time, for example.

Now I know some of you out there in cyberspace are saying, "If He knows all that then why does He let X happen in the first place?" Well, for one thing, God is working with flawed material. You can only do so much with a lump of clay that has impurities mixed into it. God has given mankind freewill and to do so runs great risk of rejection & rebellion.

On the other hand, for just as awful as it is when people choose evil, it is even better when people choose good. It is the choosing of love that God is after, if I may be presumptuous. I think that, at least part of, God's whole purpose in stepping into our timeline, is so that we will desire to choose Him as much as He desires to choose us. There can be no greater relationship than when two choose to love each other in spite of hard times. That relationship which is forged in the fire is purified and made stronger for having gone through it all together.

Thinking about it this way, it makes sense to me why so many times the metaphor of marriage is used in scripture. It's the closest thing we have to this type of relationship. God was using our language to try to explain how He feels about us; how He wants us to feel about Him. The two become one. (Gen 2:24) He has given everything He possibly could for this relationship to work. How much effort have you put forth? I know I haven't done near enough. I'll never be able to match His love for me. But does that mean I shouldn't try? Of course not.

Well, I'll leave this thought for the moment. I have more "chewing" to do. I welcome your responses.

Well, it's now September...

2007-09-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

...so I thought I ought to make an appearance. Things are going fairly well. We're just about ready for the new school year to start- good thing since classes begin tomorrow!

I came down with a cold the middle of last week and I'm still recouping from that. I'd love to have another week before everything gets going, but it ain't gonna happen.

Looking over our fall schedule has me feeling a little, "aack, what have I done to myself!" School starts tomorrow, as does AWANA and possibly LIFE group (bible study). Christmas musical rehearsals are about to go full swing. We'll be adding in Kumon to the school schedule and "doing the Puyallup" on Wednesday. Plus, I will be working in the school office this year...if I can ever get my paperwork all finished (fingerprints, videos, background checks, W-4 (or is it W-2? I can never remember). I also have band practice about every other week. And in the midst of all this I'm supposed to do laundry, wash dishes and write. I have a nice colorful daily schedule printed out and posted on my door in hopes that it will help me to establish a routine - for school anyway. If we get that solid then I can figure out how to add in everything else (including this blog).

After reading back over some of my previous posts, I realize I've left a couple of things unfinished. So, those one or two of you who frequent my page, what would you have me finish? Anything? Spain? Mexico? More pic's from CA? Or should I just go on from here? If you have a preference let me know, otherwise I'm not sure what you'll get on this page. Random thoughts from a random person.

Gotta go for now. I'll try to pop back in, in a couple days. Later!

2007-08-31T16:31:00.000-07:00

Take A Dive

Take A Dive
5" X 7"

mixed media on mat board

© 2007

This piece was created by my friend Marty Gordon. You can check out his website by following the Renzntzman link on My Favorite Links.

He knows I like to write and so he challenged me to write my impressions of some specific pieces of his work. "Take A Dive" is this first of these commentaries.

"Take a Dive"

This world, this life, does not make any sense to us. If God is a god of love, peace, order then why does He allow chaos and stupidity to, apparently, reign supreme in our lives?

People wander aimlessly, disconnected, haphazard, and without purpose. This affects all life- not just humankind.

What is the reason behind it all? Would it do me any good, God, "to appeal to your sense of reason?"

The fallacy here is in our own thinking. Of course this world is turned upside down. God left us in charge and we have royally wrecked things.

But it is in fact, only in releasing control and giving God back the reigns that any progress can be made in sorting out which end is up. Only God can choreograph our chaos. Only God can bring reason to our lives, but that wisdom is as foolishness to man.

So, is "Take a Dive" a look at the world without God in it? Or is it a look at followers of Christ through the eyes of the watching world? If so, we've not done a very good job of presenting the wisdom of God to the world – if all they see is bickering, unreasonableness, unpleasantness, and seclusion. What a shame!

Well, I was gonna post some more photos, but...

2007-07-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

I was just blessed with a "new" computer (yay!!) which is of a different ilk than the previous, and my photos (and everything else) are still on the other computer. So I guess that'll have to wait.

Tonight was fun. We (being about 25 members of NW Church) got together for a read-thru of what will be this year's Christmas program. It was fabulous! (Kudos, Jeff!) Very fun music - lots of toe-tappers. The story is one that many will relate to. For me, it says something about how the True Christmas really gets lost in all the trappings and glitz and glimmer, the shallow and hollow promises that commercialism offers. Christmas is found when all of that is gone and you realize He has been there, quietly, all along, you just failed to recognize (or remember) Him.

Anyway, the story speaks of a boy's search for Christmas after it has come up missing. It is a charming story and I hope you will all be there (at the performance) to find out what happens. It's a very interesting and worthwhile journey.

Well, that's all for now. I gots to get to bed.

Later!

What do you treasure?

2007-07-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

I started reading a book just before leaving for Mexico, titled, "Revolution in World Missions" by KP Yohannan. I haven't finished it yet, but it's been an interesting and thought-provoking read. In it he quotes "Economist Robert Heilbroner [who] describes the luxuries a typical American family would have to surrender if they lived among the 1 billion hungry people in the Two-Thirds World".

As you read this I challenge you to see yourself in this position and consider what it is you truly value; what do you treasure?

"We begin by invading the house of our imaginary American family to strip it of its furniture. Everything goes: beds, chairs, tables, television sets, lamps. We will leave the family with a few old blankets, a kitchen table, a wooden chair. Along with the bureaus go the clothes. Each member of the family may keep in his wardrobe his oldest suit or dress, a shirt or blouse. We will permit a pair of shoes for the head of the family, but none for the wife or children.
We move to the kitchen. The appliances have already been taken out, so we turn to the cupboards....The box of matches may stay, a small bag of flour, some sugar and salt. A few moldy potatoes, already in the garbage can, must be rescued, for they will provide much of tonight's meal. We will leave a handful of onions and a dish of dried beans. All the rest we take away: the meat, the fresh vegetables, the canned goods, the crackers, the candy.
Now we have stripped the house: the bathroom has been dismantled, the running water shut off, the electric wires taken out. Next we take away the house. The family can move to the tool shed....Communications must go next. No more newspapers, magazines, books-not that they are missed, since we must take away our family's literacy as well. Instead, in our shantytown we will allow one radio....
Now government services must go next. No more postmen, no more firemen. There is a school, but it is three miles away and consists of two classrooms....There are, of course, no hospitals or doctors nearby. The nearest clinic is ten miles away and is tended by a midwife. It can be reached by bicycle, provided the family has a bicycle, which is unlikely....
Finally, money. We will allow our family a cash hoard of five dollars. This will prevent our breadwinner from experiencing the tragedy of an Iranian peasant who went blind because he could not raise the $3.94 which he mistakenly thought he needed to receive admission to a hospital where he could have been cured."

The spin I'm putting on this is somewhat different than the author's intention, but I couldn't help think about it as I read this quote. After all this is gone: the stuff, the trappings, the things (or people) we all feel are "needs"- after it's all gone, what do you have left? Anything?

Something to think about, isn't it?

I'll look up the daily schedule later.

2007-07-20T23:04:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. I did put up a couple more pic's tho. I've started using an editing program and have had fun playing around with some of the pictures. Still trying to get the pic's of the San Diego architecture I told you about. I can't get to all of them from my blog (the ones I most want to show you, of course)! When I figure it out I'll post them for ya!

Till then - good night!

Well, it's finally "tomorrow"...

2007-07-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

So where did I leave off? Oh yes, the shopping.

Every year, most of the coordinators fly down to San Diego a day early. We meet up for lunch at Olive Garden and then divide and conquer. A couple of people hit Home Depot while the rest of us invade the local Costco. It always amuses me to see the check-out people's eyes bug out when we line up our 8 or so carts and flatbeds (piled high!). By now we have the shopping & check-out procedure down to a fine art so it usually goes fairly smoothly. We haul it out to the parking lot and divide it pretty evenly amongst the one cargo van and 3-4 minivans. Then we head to the border.

We don't usually have a problem getting in. We're honest about what we haul. Our little caravan stops at the border while George, aka "Tango", goes in and talks to the guards to tell them what we're all about. He's down there a lot so he's become quite a familiar face at the Tecate crossing.

The "Tango" is a military reference. Each of the Club Rust vehicles is labeled for easy identification (Alpha, Charlie, Delta, Juliet, Tango, XRay - the buses have become simply "Bus 1", "Bus 2", etc rather than "Bravo"). One year, the rental company messed up our order and we ended up with more 7 passenger vans than we were supposed to (they were supposed to be 15 passengers) We went all the way up to "Lima" that year. That was a sight coming down the road!

After we get everything settled in at the ranch (Rancho la Paloma), we head in to Tecate for dinner at our favorite restaurant, Pollo Feliz. The best chicken you have ever had! If you're ever near the border, I highly recommend stopping in for a bite! Yum!

While eating we dole out the chores for the next day. Most of the group go back to San Diego to pick up & register the "campers". A few of us stay back to make sure everything's ready at the ranch and to boil eggs. Lots of eggs. LOTS of eggs. BIG pots. Very Hot. (Thank you, Maureen!) Zak, of course, spends the day in the pool. His favorite place. Now if only he could swim....(BTW, in case you are concerned, he is not left unattended in the pool).

The group usually arrives at the ranch around 7pm, depending on how the border crossing went. They come in very excited and raring to go. It's hard for everyone to get to sleep - the first night. After that, sleep comes pretty easily. I'll give you a general run-down of the schedule tomorrow.

Now, I'm off to sleep too!

A little about our trip...

2007-07-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

We flew out Saturday, June 30. Our flight was supposed to leave around 7:30pm, however, update after update and we finally boarded about 10:20pm (We did get free mileage and $6 food vouchers - each- which we used to buy bagels for breakfast the next day. We also got some hurkin' big fruit smoothies to while away the time at the airport. That reminds me, a mom and her adult son sat across from us at the gate. Very nice people- we made pleasant conversation (she was eying my CBD catalog). He did several slight-of-hand tricks for Zak. Pretty fun).

Anyway, after finally boarding, we still ended up sitting on the tarmac for another 30 minutes or so because they had to drain water out of something on the plane. One of the pumps wasn't working right or they put the water in the wrong compartment or something. Thankfully, we had already called the hotel to tell them we were running late so they wouldn't give our room away.

We arrived at the Omni, San Diego at around 2:30 am. They were waiting for us. The Omni is a cool place to stay. It's one of the nicer hotels and is located "spittin' distance" from the Gaslamp Quarter. When we arrived, they had a really nice gift bag for Zak. They really cater to families. The gift bag itself was a high-quality sturdy paper complete with velcro closure and straps so it could be worn as a backpack. Inside the bag was a nice hard plastic cup with lid and reusable straw (and a certificate for unlimited free refills at the hotel restaurant), a slinky, a rubber bracelet, a superball with rubber jacks, and I forget what else. There was also a certificate for free milk and cookie. Good cookie, too! Mmmmm! And big!

Outside the hotel is a fountain of sorts. It's really just a square area with water jets underneath that shoot up water at varying intervals & patterns. Zak had great fun running around in there! We had fun watching. It was positively hysterical at times!

We spent nearly all day, Sunday, walking around the Gaslamp Quarter. Just walking. It was very relaxing- no phones, no time tables, no agendas.... peaceful. I did take my camera and took way more pictures than I had intended. Every few steps or so, Zak, who apparently has an eye for interesting architecture, would beg me to take a picture of this or that lamp or fence or building. There actually is some very interesting architecture in this area. I'll post a couple of the pic's for you. There were some especially interesting features at a mall we went too.

The next day, Monday, we checked out and joined more of the Club Rust coordinators for lunch and shopping for the Club Rust group which would be arriving Tuesday.

More on that tomorrow...

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

2007-07-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

Okay. I did it. I made it to another decade...and I'm still coming to grips with that fact!

How do these years fly by so fast? I've said it for years and I'll say it again - I'm convinced that God is gradually speeding up time (and the clocks, etc). Everyone I talk to seems to feel that the older you get the faster time goes. Well, maybe it really is going faster. :)

Or maybe we've just got so much we're trying to cram into what time we have, that we feel time is faster because we just don't get it all done. Maybe if we slowed down time would too?

Just a thought....

Spiral

2007-07-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is something I wrote which was inspired by the yellow rose on the right.

softly spiraling
swirling inward then out

inward, a journey
deeply illuminating
finding The Way
discovery of Life

outward, a destiny
a searching, an imparting
of Wisdom discovered
along The Way

come follow Me
share in True Beauty
delight in the artistry
which is you

Cassie Landrum
copyright June 2007

Hello! Hello!

2007-07-13T12:42:00.000-07:00

I'm back! The trip was fabulous (except for one incident which I may or may not relate to you later). I am in the process of learning how to put photos on my web page. Soon as I get that figured out, I'll have bunches of pictures to show you.

In the meantime, I hope you're having a wonderful summer, just as we are. I am getting started on a children's story (something along the lines of Magic Treehouse meets Magic Schoolbus). I have also been inspired to see things thru the eye of a lens (camera, that is) and have some interesting angles to show you (once I figure out how). I am also working on finishing up last year's school yearbook/scrapbook for Zak, and preparing the coming year's book.

Oh, and check out my new link "Zakary Online". The dear boy has his own web page now, complements of "Dad". He looks forward to adding stories and pictures as he is able (and as parents are available to help.) Way cool!

That's all for now. I'll get back to the Spain saga soon, but I bet you'd like to hear about my most recent adventures first (San Diego, Mexico, LA).

I look forward to being back with you all!

Checking In!

2007-05-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have not dropped off the face of the earth, but I may as well have. It's the end of the school year, and since we're homeschooling that means lots of activity in finishing up projects, returning things to "school", planning for next year, figuring out where to put this year's items...

We are also about to take off into summer which means trying to get into drama daycamp, preparing for the building trip to Mexico and family vacation. We will also try to get to see the "grandparents" during the summer.

My apologies to those of you I've left hanging...but you're going to be hanging a bit longer. I hope to get a couple more entries from Spain posted soon, but I will warn you - my appearances on the blog will be sporadic over the next couple of months.

I appreciate your patience and faithfulness in checking in. Have a wonderful summer, everyone. May God reveal to you all He is blessing you with!

My Apologies!

2007-04-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

Amid the bustling Easter celebrations, exhaustion, and illness, my blog has been sorely neglected. My apologies to those of you left hanging. I am on the mend and so hope to continue the Spain saga very soon.

Don't give up on me. I will return! :)

Spain 16

2007-03-28T23:03:00.000-07:00

Wow. Where has the week gone? The following entry was written 7/08/92.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Interesting night last night! Walking back to the Parker's with Susan [16 yr old Taiwanese girl and member of the team] and the puppets I noticed the sky getting darker. Storm clouds were building. Oh great. "You know why this is happening, don't you?", I said to Susan.

We had literature distribution this afternoon and it went pretty well. I went through a section with Jasmine & Lezlie. Most people we told about the movie that was available were interested in coming; the kids were really excited. It was to be in that section of town- the same one we're going to tonight for a puppet show.

"Prince, if we're gonna have that movie tonight we'd better pray," I pointed to the darkening sky.

"Yeah, looks like we're about to get attacked."

It figures. This is the 3rd time we've tried to show a movie. Something always happens. The first time we saw part of one but couldn't finish it because the family whose electricity we were using had to get up really early. The second time the people wouldn't cooperate and allow it to be shown. Now rain.

Bueno. After cena [light dinner], we went to the church to pray and get ready for the movie [which urges people to have faith in Christ]. Know what? God moves through the prayers of His people!

Pretty soon we were hearing thunder. We packed up the car (our only car) with the movie stuff and folletas [pamphlets] and went to our chosen wall anyway. [The movies are shown outside in the streets up against any available wall. Electricity to run the projector is borrowed from a family in the neighborhood.]

Dark clouds. We get the thing set up and about 2 minutes to starting time we felt the first drops fall. Soon there's no mistaking it- it's raining.

We put the stuff under as much shelter as we could find. I was praying like mad. "God push back the clouds of darkness, both physical and spiritual so that people can know your truth."

Others were praying, too, for certain. About 5-10 minutes later the rain slackened and then stopped. "Yay, God!" It sprinkled a few more drops then quit altogether.

We set the stuff back up. I tell ya, I didn't pay much attention to the movie; I was praying and praising God the whole time!

Pretty soon the sky began to clear; stars began to appear. The movie and testimony of Prince went off with no problems. There were quite a few from the neighborhood around who stayed for the whole thing- including a group of high school aged kids. God be praised, people are starting to open up.

We, the girls, got back to our apartment. We were home 5-10 minutes when 'click' all the lights went out. No electricity. Great. Somebody tried to take a shower. No hot water. Greater. The electricity and the gas went out at the same time. What are the odds of that happening?

What did we do? Praised God for our victories, prayed, finished our snacks and went to sleep peacefully. (Prince & Caleb helped us make things right again this afternoon).

Somebody's been throwing rocks again...but Daddy is in control.

Do you know what else? Prince told us that, "It's not supposed to rain in Daimiel. It never rains here in the summer!"

I see a few clouds in the sky right now. Maybe we should start praying again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spain 15

2007-03-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight I'll relay a couple of stories that were told to me. I thought the concept was pretty interesting. This is a continuation of the previous posts of 7/6/92.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prince and Art Garcia were discussing the territoriality of demons. It seems to be scriptural if you look at the book of Daniel. Here are a couple of examples they gave:

1) There is a stretch of highway somewhere between Daimiel and Madrid. This road is straight with no obstructions or anything, but there is always somebody getting in an accident there. Many people have been killed, for no apparent reason, even on nice days.

2) They mentioned a certain place, in South America I believe, where there is a town that exists on both sides of the border between two countries. One country was open to receiving the Gospel; the other was not. You could tell which country you were in just by crossing the street. On one side of the street people would accept the books and tracts they were handed; on the other side they would not. A guy on one side of the street would refuse the literature, but after crossing the street he would accept!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still think it's an interesting thought. I know this entry is short, but the next one I think will be pretty long so I'm gonna close this out for tonight. Do you want me to introduce you to some of the group I was traveling with, or should I just continue on with my experiences? Of course, some of the experiences I'll mention aren't all that "spiritual" and do include group members.

Until next time...

Spain 14

2007-03-22T23:07:00.000-07:00

continued...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the missionaries and local Christians have told us how hard the Spaniards are, how opposed and atheistic. But in this first week, we have seen hearts begin to open. People stand around actually listening to the street messages, testimonies, movies, songs.

There were three Arabs, Muslim men, who came to the church to talk with Prince; three Muslims seeking a Christian to discuss God and the Scriptures! When have you ever heard of that happening?

I look out at the crowd of people and then I look up to the stars. My heart is crying out, O God! For the sake of the children, Father, for the sake of the children touch the hearts of the parents...the Kingdom of Heaven is made up of such as these!

You want more evidence of the authority and working of God?

Lezlie had been praying about some specific concerns, privately. God reassured her by speaking through three different people. At different times during our prayer sessions someone would come up and place a hand on her, pray, then give a message from God concerning exactly what Lezlie had been praying about! And it's not like Lezlie's prayers were overheard. She was praying quietly to herself, in English, hand over her mouth. One gal who approached Lezlie doesn't even understand English.

Truly our God is an awesome God! And worthy of all glory and honor and praise! His reign is for all eternity!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was just looking at how many pages are left in my notebook. I hope you're all enjoying this story because we've got a loooooong way to go!

Later!

Spain 13

2007-03-22T00:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry to leave you hangin' guys! It's been a crazy couple of days. I'll pick up where we left off last time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7/6/92 cont'd

There is much power released from God through the prayers of His children. I have tasted of that power. Beyond "Thank you, Lord, for answered prayer," into the realization of His absolute power and authority over all.

The point was mentioned that we, as Christians even, have no rights. We have what we have because of the grace and mercy of the Almighty God. And what a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God! His love has covered us from His wrath as we have come to the point in our individual lives where He is able to accept us since we have now been covered, or cleansed, from our unholiness. For what is sinful cannot dwell in the presence of what is holy and pure.

I spoke of the power of prayer. The Spirit of God moved among the congregation yesterday morning. Voices cried out to God, praises lifted higher and higher... and then the singing stopped (for all this was taking place during the song service before the lesson began).

I had my eyes closed most of the time, praying and praising within my heart, singing what words I knew. As the last song ended, suddenly there was someone beside me. Prince. He put his hand on my head and the instant he did, I felt the power of God so strong! He began to pray for me and as he did so I felt my heart would burst it was so full! I felt as though God were blessing me through the hand of Prince much like the fathers of old blessed their children. Many of the words were intercessory, but I know I received an affirmation from God that day. I have been accepted by Him as His child, His daughter.

All I could do was bow my head, raise my hands, and open my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know if you've ever felt anything like that before. It was both frightening and exciting. A frightening realization of how incredibly huge and awesome God is and what insignificant "pond scum" I am. Exciting because of the affirmation of knowing He loves me. I am significant in the eyes of God and what better place is there to be? I wish I could adequately describe the feeling that moment brought, physically, emotionally, spiritually. But, maybe some of you know what I'm talking about.

I'll try to post more tomorrow. Nighty-nite!

Spain 12

2007-03-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah. Here we go...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7/02/92

Missed my nap yesterday. I had, literally, just lay down when Lezlie came out. "It's 5:58!" We had to be at the Parker's at 6:30 and everybody was still asleep.

The service [church] was great! Great lesson. Great worship. A lot of fun! I understood most everything, surprisingly enough.

Prince is very interesting to listen to. He has very thought-provoking viewpoints and I think I agree with most everything I've heard so far.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7/06/92

I received a blessing from God yesterday.

So much has happened in this first week here; so much I've learned with little to no time to write about it. I stayed home from the swimming pool today (our day off) to try and catch up on all that has taken place. Bear with me as I try to relay my memories.

Basic Run-Down of the Daily Schedule (varies):

6-7am wake up call/ morning showers (3 people)
8:30 breakfast at the Parker's
9:30 at church for prayer & bible study
12-2pm literature/tract distribution (we walk door-to-door in pairs)
2pm at the Parker's for lunch
3:30-5 home for chores/ siesta
5:30/6 at church for prayer, then more literature distribution
7:30/8:30 cena (light dinner), then worship at church (varies)
9/10pm street work (showing movies, preaching, singing, puppet shows)
12-2am bedtime, night showers (3 people)

I'll have to try to write in another place all the very interesting things I've been learning or hearing from Principe. I do, definitely, want to get them down. His lessons have been very intriguing.

Prince's childhood nickname is "Rocky" because he was always rocking himself. He still does. Let me tell you, it's a joy to watch this man pray! No inhibitions about praising God! It took some getting used to. To describe him I'll use his own words as best as I remember, "To the evangelical I'm pentecostal; to the pentecostal I'm evangelical."

I've always been put off by the "hallelujah, praise God, raise your hands, shout to heaven" stuff. It's always seemed really hokey to me; people walking around with dreamy looks on their faces....

This is different. It's not hokey. It's real.

When I look at Prince I see a little boy yelling, "Yay, Dad!" I see a battling soldier crying out for victory as though already won. I see the reality of spiritual warfare, the tangibility of the spirit realm.

This is no joke. This is no game.

The Spirit of God is here, different and more powerful, more real than I have ever before known. Things I've thought, but have never been taught I am now seeing with my own eyes.

God protect me lest I go astray. We are in the thick of battle here. Pray with us. Pray for us. Pray for the children, especially of Daimiel. And God, I pray for the churches who, like frogs, are sleeping in a pot of water, slowly starting to boil. God, Father, wake us up!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are a few more pages in this entry so I'll divide it up and post it over the next couple days. Feel free to share your thoughts with me as I take this trip down memory lane!

Until next time...

As the Wind Blows...

2007-03-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

As the wind blows across the ocean waves
so my prayer goes up to You.
Oh God, why have you done what you have done?
The sorrow you must feel is more than I can bear.
The mist and spray mingle with the tears in my heart.
My pain is great, Oh God, but yours so much
greater.
Yet together we go on; each with our sorrows, each
with our joys.
So great is your love for me;
so great is my remorse for having spurned
that love so often, unjustly.
Forgive me, Oh God, is what I pray and always
that is just what you do.
For you are molding me, Lord, molding me to be just
as you have ordained from the beginning.
It hurts sometimes, God, hurts us both. But I know,
and you know, that this pain is only temporary,
and it will pass away.
But in the meantime, Oh God, let us walk these
shores together, growing closer in Love.
And one day, when this world and its pains are
gone, we shall walk the shores of Heaven,
hand in hand, for that is how it should be; that
is how you have ordained Life to be; joyous,
full of fun and laughter.
And that is how it will be; Father and child,
Brother and sister...friends.

copyright Cassie Landrum
10/08/88

Spain 11

2007-03-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

7/01/92 cont'd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The 2 hr drive to Daimiel didn't seem all that long. Of course that's not too surprising with hours and hours of flight time behind us.

Prince did his best to keep us awake, talking non-stop in both english and spanish. What he had to say was very interesting, like how the Church (mostly in the states) is like a sleeping baby, or like a frog in a pot of water. The water slowly reaches the boiling point but the frog never notices.

I still had a hard time keeping awake. With not much sleep in the last couple of days to begin with, then 11-12 hrs air time, an 8 hr time change...I still felt like the ground was moving beneath me, the walls around me.

"What's that?!", I heard Lezlie exclaim. I turned toward where she was pointing. Looming on the horizon was an ever-nearing, very large, ominous silhouette. Solid black with horns.

Now, what you have to understand is 1) we were completely exhausted and 2) Prince had just been telling us of spiritual warfare, witches, etc. You can imagine how startled we were to see that image suddenly appear before our bleary eyes. It turned out to be a billboard of a bull.

Well, I managed to stay awake until a little after 10pm. My head hit the pillow and I was "out like a light" (which happened to still be on).

Don't think I didn't say a prayer first, though. It's my understanding that spiritual warfare of the not-so-subtle kind is prevalent here and all over Spain. Apparently Ricardo (Richard, part of the AF group) had an encounter the night he arrived with the rest of the group. I'm told Daimiel is called the "city of the witches". There's a population of about 18,000, though by looking you'd never know due to it's small town appearance.

So, I prayed. And I reminded God that He promised not to allow more than we can bear. I went to sleep under an angel (a picture on the wall which I somehow felt might be representative of the real thing).

Aside from a couple of noises around 7 or 8am (rising time for the rest of the group), I slept the sleep of the peaceful dead until noon. I could've slept longer, but I didn't because I knew I would oversleep if I did. We were due at the Parker's at 2pm for lunch. Gina, Prince's wife, is a good cook.

Now is siesta time, which begins with lunch and goes till about 5pm. The main activities are eating and sleeping...which is precisely what I intend to do very soon. I'm still really tired, but at least my world isn't trembling and rolling around me anymore...as much anyway.

We have a church meeting tonight. I'm really looking forward to listening to Prince's lesson. I've heard some of his viewpoints in english - very interesting. Now I have to grapple at understanding in spanish. Although, I have been doing better than I thought I would.

More later. Nap time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sidenote...

2007-03-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

In class today, we had a thought-provoking discussion on what it means to be truly thankful, and for what. I ran across the following quote a few minutes ago. I like it.

"When you arise in the morning,
give thanks for the morning light,
for your life and strength. Give thanks
for your food, and the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks,
the fault lies with yourself..."

Tecumseh - Shawnee

Beyond being thankful for the "stuff", deep within the core of our beings, we need to appreciate that every good and perfect gift is from God. Food, shelter, family, sure...but what about color? texture? taste? experiences of life that bring about growth, character, understanding? All these things we take for granted that really are gifts to be held with the utmost awe and joy. Gifts given in love, with hope of being appreciated. Anticipation of joy and discovery- the Gift-giver's anticipation. He has made every effort to create the perfect gift for you, right down to the most minute detail; a true labor of love. And He awaits your reaction to His lavish generosity.

Will you even notice all He has done...just for you- and not the generic "you", but YOU, specifically. How often have we brushed His gifts aside, with nary a glance, if we noticed at all.

It may be time, past time really, to stop and take stock of all your many blessings. Make a quiet moment, sit down and write out a list. Take inventory of all He has given you. You may be surprised. Personally, I think I could write this list non-stop for the rest of my life and never be finished, so great is His love for me.

Spain 10

2007-03-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

This one's pretty long, too, so I'm gonna split it into two posts. We actually get to Spain in the next segment...in case you were wondering. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6/31/92

We flew out from LA at 9:00am on the 29th (an hour late). We arrived in Madrid at 10:00am (45 minutes late- our connecting flight was also late).

The connection out of Newark, NJ was late because the plane was still refueling. A fuel gage broke and had to be replaced so the refueling could be finished.

The pilot hit a bump on the way up and jarred one of those oxygen mask compartments loose. It came down in front of a family across the isle from me. About one minute later the captain, probably having no idea this had happened, turned off the no smoking sign. My immediate thought was, "Hmm. oxygen + lit cigarettes = big boom.

The stewardess came by and told the guy not to touch the masks (pulling on them begins the oxygen flow) so of course he kept playing with the elastic string! I imagine he was just trying to keep it out of his wife's face, but it made me nervous.

Well, aside from that, the flight was uneventful. I'll have to continue my saga later. Time to get ready to go.

~~~~

Let's see, where was I? Oh yeah!

Well, obviously the airplane didn't explode and we set down in Madrid 45 minutes late or so.

We got through customs with, literally, no questions asked and finally found our luggage. Then Lezlie and I stumbled out into the main lobby only to find no one we could recognize. We found a couple of chairs, sat down and waited...and waited...and waited...and..."Okay, let's go to the 'meeting point' since we're late. Maybe he is waiting there." 'He' being Prince Parker, Lezlie's cousin, who is the missionary in Daimiel.

So, we went to the "meeting point". No one there. We checked the message board. No message. We went back to the "punta de encuentra" (meeting point). I sank into the chair next to Lezlie. "Let's call the Garcia's," she said.

The Garcia's are another missionary family based in Madrid. It was possible Prince was there.

Lezlie called and called but could not get through. "So, should we hop a train to Daimiel like we discussed with Prince earlier?"

Daimiel is located about two hrs SW of Madrid. Gas over here is about $4.00 per gallon - and you thought it was expensive in the states! A person can't afford to go to the airport everyday. The rest of the team arrived a day ahead of me and Lezlie. Apparently something had worked out though, because Virgil (head of AF) said he had arranged for Prince to pick us up. At this point, however, we were beginning to wonder if there hadn't been some miscommunication.

We were sooo tired we asked some lady at the counter if there was a room we could rest in for a while (sometimes airports have things like that available). She seemed horrified that we would even consider it. Apparently they highly frowned upon sleeping transients.

We discussed the possibility of locating a youth hostel somewhere, and sleeping till morning. We called Virgil (back in LA) for his input. "Stay put!", he said. "Call back in 30 minutes."

Well, by this time it was around 2:00pm. It was all we could do to keep our eyes open. We sat there resting our heads on our sleeping bags, looking very much like a pair of homeless waifs.

Lezlie looked up when some guy walked by. He was two feet away and staring at me before my eyes focused enough to recognize him. Art Garcia. We were standing up to greet him when around the corner came Prince and daughter, Genesis.

Thank you Father, for rescuing us! There had been a mix-up in flight information. The really amazing part of this story is that neither Art nor Prince knew the other was coming, and yet they arrived at the same time, of their "own" accord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued....

Spain 9

2007-03-09T23:45:00.000-08:00

Hang on to your socks! This next one's a doozy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6/28/92

...Then there's the misbehaved boy who, having been denied permission to do the mischief he desired, began throwing rocks through the windows....

Tomorrow morning, Monday, we leave for Spain. This has not exactly been an uneventful stay in Los Angeles (city of the angels?).

Lezlie and I have been very busy overcoming, first of all, misgivings about the group (they have different ways of praying and worshiping God than we are used to). Secondly, trying to raise support. God has been good in raising up people to help. Lezlie is now $400 short of her goal; I am $1000, with unknown amounts coming in.

It came down to us praying over, thinking over, and finally signing a contract with AF promising to make full payment within 6 months of our return from the trip.

While in Woodlin Hills, preparing for LA, Lezlie discovered she had packed her passport too well for her move to California. The day we left for LA she found it.

We got here and were told that unless we each came up with at least $1000 more we couldn't go. Not only did God give us the payment contract, but funds have been coming in from various people and places.

Then Lezlie's pack came up missing - complete with passport, money, immunization record...God allowed that to be found 2 days later.

Friday afternoon, I was going stir-crazy, having not spent much time outside in the last few days. I decided to go for a walk. Lezlie came too. The first two blocks were interesting as we, being female, drew attention and comments from four different sources. Walking on the USC campus was nice, however.

Soon after returning to the house, 1-2 hrs later, we went up to the 3rd level to sit on the balcony. That's when we heard a couple of guys walking by and talking about a party that was to occur that night.

And what a party it was! About a block away, it was so loud I could just about hear every word. Loud music, loud cars.... Around 11pm I tried to go to sleep anyway.

It was a fitful night of "rest". Then around 3am I awoke to find Naima [my AF roommate] leaping out of bed to call the cops.

I was still laying in bed trying to go back to sleep, but I noticed the voices were louder and closer. And then, with Naima still on the phone, we heard shots fire.

Against my better judgment, I let human curiosity take over and went to the window to check things out.

What I saw was a rapidly growing mob of about 30 people, across the street & kitty-corner to the house. They were yelling, beginning to fight, blocking traffic. Two guys were beating on another, car horns were honking...!

I had sudden visions of being caught in the middle of a mini-uprising. With past tensions, who could help but think of the Rodney King incident [about a year before].

Three different people from the house called the cops, who finally came, ordering everyone out. There were about 4 or 5 cop cars. Most everyone cleared out, including the cops, but a growing handful remained. A single patrolling car drove by the crowd, sped on, then returned with the other cars, threatening to jail those refusing to leave. Soon the street was clear, but I still didn't rest real easy.

While all this was going on, we were hanging out in the shadows, praying and praying and praying.

So I was pretty tired when I went to bed last night around 10:30pm. At around 11:45pm Naima came in to pack [most of the group left the day before Lezlie & I]. I tried to sleep even with the lights on, but she suggested I go downstairs so as not to be disturbed.

So I went down to join Lezlie...who still had her light on, studying. I dropped my sleeping bag on the floor and went to the bathroom. When I go back we turned the light out. I crashed hard.

After a time, I started into semi-consciousness feeling like someone was rocking my bed...then I remembered I was sleeping on the floor! I sat up trying to figure out where I was. The clock read 4:48am. Then I heard Lezlie ask, "Is this an earthquake?" Aha! Yes. We got into the doorway and leaned there, against the frame, rocking with the motion. Lezlie mentioned feeling, "Please God...I just want to go back to sleep. I'm so tired." I don't know that I was thinking much of anything, but it was along those same lines. Neither of us was afraid.

It seemed a long time before the rolling stopped. We stayed a few minutes to be sure it was over, then back to bed. "Eventful weekend for you, huh?", a voice, Gwen's, called from upstairs. Yeah.

Lezlie and I talked for a few minutes- about God, about Satan, about faith, about a "mischievous boy".... We prayed, praised, sang, went to sleep. Sort of. We had to get up in a little more than an hour anyway.

Later we turned on the little portable radio/tv to hear the report while getting ready for church. 7.4 out of Yucca Valley! Wow! 8:00am or so, I'm in the middle of shaving my legs [I was dressed] when the 2nd one came. It was every bit as strong as the first quake. I took my razor to the doorway and kept on shaving...didn't even cut myself!

I did discover that a lot of people in the neighborhood have car alarms!

"Eventful weekend"? Sure has been. Faith-building, praise-growing. And we haven't even left the country yet!

The "misbehaved boy"? You guessed it; our unforgettable enemy, the devil.

We don't think he's real happy about us going to Spain. He's been trying to dissuade us. If he did, indeed, go to God for permission to do us harm, he didn't get it. So, he's been throwing rocks.

But God cares for those who love Him. And even if He doesn't protect us from physical harm, like the prophets of old, we cannot, I cannot, disregard His righteousness, His holiness, the hold I have allowed Him to have on my life.

God is far too majestic, far too powerful and awesome for me to be disobedient, to regard lightly...and yet the struggle continues, as does the spiritual battle around.

Through God alone we are granted our hope, our lives, our beings; through Christ alone we are granted victory for eternity! God be praised! He is worthy!

PS We're in the middle of South LA, right? What do we hear in the wee hours of the morning but a rooster crowing! Right.

If you're gonna praise God, you can expect the devil to get mad. Be prepared for disaster and praise God anyway!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spain 8

2007-03-09T23:41:00.000-08:00

6/26/92

The lack of finances is a common malady of missionaries. Do we wait for finances to back us up? Or does faith need to come to full employ at this time so that we may continue on irregardless of situational & financial stress?

Just what is included in good stewardship? And how do you couple that with stepping out in faith? These are questions to be grappled with. As of yet, for me, the answer remains obscured.

Spain 7

2007-03-07T23:40:00.000-08:00

Are ya bored yet?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6/24/92

Day two at AF Center.

Interesting place. I don't know that I agree entirely with Rev. Amos, but I have met some wonderful people here. Very servant-oriented.

Laundry was interesting today. Linda took Lezlie & I to the laundromat. That was fine. .50 per load today- normally .75. We didn't have time to dry them there because we had to get back for dinner. So we hung them on the line at the center. It got too late to leave them there so now they're hanging from various places of the bedroom, including the balcony! Amusing sight- I hope none fall off!

Lezlie & I were informed today that unless we came up with another $1000. each, minimum, we would not be going.

Panic time! Well, not panic exactly, but we sure have been wracking our brains.

I sat out on the porch for a few minutes this afternoon, just watching the people go on with their lives. I prayed.

Father, this is your mission. If you want us on it, I trust that you'll get us there. We'll do what we can. We trust you with the rest. Father, your will be done....

I have no doubts that the money will come if God chooses to send us there. God does not work by man's schedule, but by His ultimate wisdom.

This is a lesson in patience and faith.

I may learn more than I bargained for this summer.

Remember that God uses people to answer prayers. Be an answer to someone's prayer today.

Father, touch peoples' hearts (including my own); change them, mold them, prepare them. Thank you for who you are. All glory & praise to you. Amen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spain 6

2007-03-05T23:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this is a long one, but it was a long day. A really long day. Here goes....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6/23/92

What a day!

With my sleeping bag pulled over my head, I failed to see the rising sun and so I did not rise...until 10am!

Lezlie and I left at 12pm, too late for her hair appointment so we went to get our gamma globulin shots. A simple matter (so we thought).

Our appointment was for 2pm. I called and verified with a woman who spoke more Chinese (Japanese?) than English. Tried to get the appointment pushed back to 2:30pm. That didn't work. "Can you come tomorrow?" No. We're leaving tonight. We can't get in at 2:30? "No. We are full. Can you come tomorrow?" I have an appointment for 2pm....

Anyway, we left. Walked to the bus stop. HOT sun!! Caught the 161 (after waiting about 15-20 minutes) and rode down a couple blocks to where the driver said we needed to transfer. "The bus (245) will be along shortly." I'd hate to see his idea of long! 45 minutes later, 245 comes rolling along.

That driver was a real jerk! Started off on some poor lady because she didn't understand what he was saying about the fare & transfer. But that's another story.

No problem finding Dr. Hang's office. We arrived at 1:45pm to find the place locked. Out to lunch, I guess. Sure enough, at 2pm the door opens. We filled out the paperwork and went back to the little room (2:10). At 2:30 we're still sitting there. I'm beginning to wonder if we, along with our charts, have disappeared into some black hole or something. And some middle-aged asian man keeps walking back & forth in the hallway, smiling and whistling a merry ole tune. Yah, easy for you - you don't have somewhere to be at 3pm! Hey, are you the doctor or what?!

No, I didn't really say that, but I wondered. About that time I decided I needed to remind the receptionist of our existence. "It won't be much longer. He's just down the street now."

Just down the street? He's not even here?

I went to the bathroom. I emerged to find Lezlie in the hallway with our papers and the receptionist.

Down the hall, 2 doors to the right. Different office. I think the receptionist was just as irate with Dr. Hang as Lezlie and I. She sent us to someone else for the shots and called to let them know we were coming. "Okay," they said.

So there we went. New office. Same building.

The receptionist there? "I'm sorry. I'm new. I was wrong. You are new patients so you have to schedule an appointment. Then it will be $45 for the visit and $25 for the shot." Compare that to $30 at Dr. Hang's....Lezlie wanted to cry; I wanted to hurt someone. "I guess I'll take my chances with the hepatitis," said she. You should have heard the sudden inhalation of air coming from the two older ladies seated in the waiting room!

We went back in the hallway. Lezlie tore up our papers; I headed back to hang Dr. Hang. (Not the receptionist, mind you, she was very nice and helpful.)

"If Dr. Hang want to continue his practice, he'd better start thinking of his patients as more than an income!"

"I've been working here 12 yrs. and I keep trying to tell him that. If you told him I would be very happy."

I'm willing to do that!

Finally, he showed up - actually, just after we walked in the door.

Okay. We'll stay. Back to the little room. Might as well, we already missed Lezlie's hair appointment...again.

He walked in apologizing.

I had my sleeves rolled and ready.

He said something I didn't quite understand through his asian accent.

"What?"

"Can I give it in your rump? Too much for shoulder. Don't want to cause pain."

Pain, you say? After this wait?

I didn't know whether to laugh or hit him. Lezlie wasn't laughing, but she was smiling awfully big.

"I'm a little irritated that it's now 3pm and our appointment was for 2pm!" (And I couldn't get it rescheduled for 2:30?)

He apologized again while Lezlie went a little bare, and mumbled something about the bank.

Lezlie and I just about burst out laughing. It's hard to be indignant and angry with your pants down! (Actually, it was more of a hip shot).

"So sorry for delay. Have a nice day!"

Have a nice day? Really?!

3:30pm we finally hit the bank. There was some mix up with Lezlie's account. Did you know that it's illegal to deposit money into your own account from out of state? Strange!

4:05 and we're on the street again, walking toward a 161. The sun is still hot!

Finally get to the bus stop and 45 minutes later here comes the bus with our favorite, sweet bus driver. He remembered us from yesterday.

Lezlie and I part ways on Ventura - she to the salon, I to the house. It's 5pm and we were supposed to be picked up at 4:30 [by someone from AF].

There's somebody asleep in a car in the driveway. "Hi. Cassie? I'm Linda...."

She follows me into the house, very sweet and friendly. I rush around with last minute packing then sit down to eat a leftover, too salty burrito.

Lezlie, where are you?

I envision her sitting at a bus stop somewhere waiting and waiting and...there's something to be said for the Seattle bus system!

She finally made it back and we left for LA 45 minutes later (around 8:40pm). We pulled into a 3-story house with a locked chain link parking area- the center for Ambassador's Fellowship.

My first impression? People seem a little too nice. "Praise the Lord!"

Well, it's now midnight and I have to get up at, ugh, 6:30am!

Thank you Lord for getting us here safely. Guide us these next 2 months. Please!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spain 5

2007-03-04T23:02:00.000-08:00

June 22 finds us in LA, staying with Lezlie's friends. You'll also read the first mention of Ambassador's Fellowship, the group we went to Spain with. Sorry if you've been bored so far, but hang in there. The next few days were quite eventful. You'll laugh tomorrow!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lezlie and I went on an adventure today, trying to figure out the buses (well, one anyway) of LA.

The morning started off with a zillion phone calls, trying to find bus routes and health departments.

The bus driver was very helpful. We caught the bus on Ventura and got off at Topango Plaza. Two street names I will never forget: Topango Canyon Rd. and Sherman Way.

We got off the bus searching for Sherman, on foot, walking and walking and...just 2 long blocks down, said two girls we passed. Boy, they weren't kidding! Found Sherman, decided finally (after looking at a bus map) which direction was East and turned accordingly. We walked some more, and walked, and...this isn't right. Where's the health department? Where's Remett Ave.? We turned around and went down another street. There's Sherman Way again! How'd that happen? Hey, look, there's a 7-11. Let's call for directions.

We zigged when we should've zagged. Walking, walking, walking, always walking. My feet are getting heavy. It's what time? 2:30! We were supposed to be there before this. Hey, there's the library! Is Remett around here? Two more blocks, you say? Short ones this time.

Finally, we reached the health department only to find:

A) They were done giving shots for the day
B) They don't do travel immunizations anyway!

They gave us the number of a doctor to try. We have an appointment so tomorrow we get to do the whole thing over again. All for one little poke in the arm to prevent a thing called Hepatitis!

A brief comment:

I have not been favorably impressed with Ambassador's Fellowship thus far; particularly with the seeming disorganizational skills and irresponsibility of [one individual]- a Reverend at that!

I think, were it not for Lezlie and her cousin, I would not be going.

I may not be going anyway. I have $1124 of $2700. This mission truly is in God's hands.

We need to have faith, yes, as the Reverend keeps saying. However, God gave us a brain and I honestly believe He meant for us to use it!

Well, I will say no more about this now. We'll see what happens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomorrow...the trip to the doctor!

Spain 4

2007-03-03T20:33:00.000-08:00

This next segment takes place in Fresno. Bet you're wondering if I ever get to Spain! A lot of stuff happened before I ever left the country. It may be the better part of the story. Well, maybe not....I landed in Fresno 6/18/92, the day before my friend & travel companion, Lezlie. Her mother picked me up at the airport. (Mind you, we had never met before. She found me, tho).

I wasn't going to give you this entry, but I thought my Arts Min friends might appreciate the topic.

We pick up 6/19/92:
~~~~~

Lezlie made it here okay. We spent the day with Mrs. Roach shopping for Lezlie. Afterward, she very graciously treated us to a movie: Sister Act. It's a Whoopie Goldberg film and very funny. Interesting in that the movie depicts how lives can change when influenced by God; change in values, in attitudes, ultimately in action/lifestyle.

What I found most interesting about the movie was a different message. A cry to the Church from the world.

The message I saw? If members/congregations as a whole will reach out to people where they are, in a way which is understandable to them, there will be a much greater response. Not that we should be in the business of "tickling people's ears". Speak the truth in love - but love comes in different forms. The same message can be written on different types of stationery.

God's message is for all. God reaches people; Jesus goes to people where they're at to spread truth in love. Can we do less? Less than our Discipler? Remember what a disciple is? One who conforms his/her life totally, completely, without exception to that of the Master.

Think about it. If you go see that movie, listen to the cry of the world to the Church. It wasn't a christian staff who created that film. The world is crying out for God...will we answer?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spain 3

2007-03-02T15:25:00.000-08:00

6/16/92

Oregon.

Quiet. Relaxing. Peaceful. Country pace.
Good place to be.
Time to breath deeply. Breathe of fresh air.
Time to regain focus. To look toward future. To sort through past.
Time to "Be still and know that I AM God."

Remember why you're doing this. Remember why you are here.

Why?

To love God; to learn how to love people...the way they need to be loved, the way we all need to be loved.

To grow closer to God. To mature in true Christian faith.

To learn to better relay my learnings to other people / people groups.

To experience another part of the world. Its culture, its language, its belief, its way of doing things, of living day to day.

I am here because I need to be. I need to grow...and so do you.

When one fails to grow death occurs. Painfully. Growing has pains as well, but for a higher purpose. Life.

Abundant. Pure. Joyous.
Discovery of the new, and the old.
Perspective.
Excitement. Adventure.
Truth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I spent a few days in Oregon, visiting family, before I left for Spain. Great place to do some reflecting.

Spain 2

2007-03-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

6/6/92

My last Sunday at Northwest (Church) before we leave.

Someone asked me, "Are you scared?" My answer was no. I'm not scared to go....

Then I realized I am scared, but not of going to Spain. I'm really looking forward to this trip though I know it will be taxing.

I'm scared of the return. Will it be the same as last time? Will I have to begin once again? Or will the relationships pick up where they left off? I think not, save for perhaps one or two.

And how much will I change? How different will things be? Will my dog still love me?

Will my roommate really move back to Ohio? Will I need to find another place to live?

How much of what I deem valuable now will really hold importance once I return?

How different will I be? My viewpoints?

Will I be accepted upon return? How will people react to the changes in me? Will they understand? Will I understand when they don't?

I have a million questions with answers yet to be discovered. And yet another, "Will I be accepting of changes that inevitably will occur, both within and in circumstances without?"

Tough questions. One answer.

The scripture was read to me by Khoi: "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord." 1 Cor. 15:58

Sometimes you just have to do what you know you need to, no matter what else may happen. God will bless.

My heart is filled with gratitude and earnest desire for those who have pledged to pray for us. I will miss you all greatly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Obviously, I had a lot on my mind while preparing for this trip. Reading this, it sounds like I'm planning to be gone for 2 years rather than 2 months!

I included this entry because it gives some insight into my thought processes at the time.

And in case you were wondering, my roommate did not move and my dog did still love me.

Until next time....

Spain 1

2007-02-28T22:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've been asked to talk about what happened in Spain that so greatly impacted my life. Rather than try to articulate events which occurred nearly 15 (gulp!) years ago, I've decided to actually take you there. Over the next several days I will post entries from my travel journal (unless you tell me you've had enough) so that you can read what my thoughts were at the time. Hopefully that will give you some idea of the how, what & why that I occasionally refer to.

Keeping in mind the preceding events of the canceled Honduras trip, which I am convinced God orchestrated, the story unfolds with this first, pre-trip entry, dated 5/31/1992:

To Spain

Shall I tell you my feelings, my thoughts as I prepare to embark upon this journey to a distant culture?

People say, "Wow! I bet you're excited! That sounds like fun; you're going to have a great time...." In fact, my feelings are a bit contrary to what most would expect...quite a bit contrary.

"Do I want to go?" Yes. "Am I looking forward to this trip?" Decidedly. However, at the same time, I approach this experience with caution.

I know I will change. I know things back home will be different upon my return. I know it will hurt. I know I will be challenged.

So why am I going? Because I need to change; I need to grow...that always comes with some pain. I need to have challenge to spur me on to greater quality of life, true life. I need this experience to help others see, near and abroad, what I already know in my heart to be true. I need to better define this truth within my own life that my life may truly become my "spiritual act of worship" toward God; that I my become salt in the most sincere of ways; that my heart may become as God has intended it, me, to be from the beginning.

Why am I going? I love God and want to be like Him in all my ways...and I love the adventure that living with God never fails to bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Earthquake!

2007-02-26T09:48:00.000-08:00

Just remembering...

I grew up with a belief in God- in His existence anyway. My parents were believers. I was baptized, along with my dad, when I was 13 and have been in the Church ever since. Typically, I have attended churches of Christ (instrumental) or christian churches. But I have also darkened the doorways of Messianic churches, assemblies of God, a cappella churches of Christ (well, one anyway). Never had anybody really study with me and in one way that was good because I never was "indoctrinated" with any particular denomination. Mostly I learned from Scripture and observation.

Even so, I still ended up with this view of God that was less than complete, fallible human that I am. My image of God was of sort of a giant teddy bear, if you will. A Father whose lap I could climb into for a hug on a good day or a bad one. And that is true, but it is far from complete. I mean, I knew God was holy and sin could not dwell in His presence, etc, etc. But I didn't KNOW it. Know what I mean? It was words.

Well, one year I was planning a short term missions trip with a couple of friends to Honduras. We were going to spend the summer at a medical mission. Well, the countdown had begun. I had the time off work (actually, I think I had quit my job), had my passport up to date, all that. What we did not have was the go-ahead from Honduras. They were in the middle of some administrative changes and did not communicate with us but maybe once or twice. We ended up canceling the trip.

In the meantime, another friend had been planning a trip to Spain to visit her missionary cousin. She found out that my trip was history and invited me on hers. Spain? I'd never even considered it, but okay. Why not?

Well, to make a long story short, I believe God had had this in mind all along. Amid riots, earthquakes, delayed flights, being stuck at the airport in a foreign country and some very powerful answers to prayer, God revealed my distorted image of Himself.

It was positively frightening. I was shaken to the core...and that was a good thing. I have come away from that experience with some much needed perspective. God is so much bigger than we can imagine; we are so much smaller than we think.

But God has chosen to love us. He has given the best that He has to offer so that we can be with Him. Talk about perspective!

Before my trip to Spain, I prayed that my faith would grow and be more real. If you are honestly praying for your faith to grow, hang on. It's gonna be a crazy ride!

Visionary Faith 1

2007-02-25T23:39:00.000-08:00

"However, as it is written: no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him - But God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God." 1 Cor. 2:9-10

It was said earlier today, essentially, that God often calls us to partake in His vision; a vision which we could never accomplish on our own. It is God's vision.

Now, you could say that seems pretty mean, to ask me to do something He knows full well I cannot do...until you look at all the scriptures that assure us it is by His power, His grace, His name that it is accomplished.

These tasks He gives to each individual are designed to make us reliant upon Him. Hebrews 11 states that "without faith it is impossible to please God." So by giving me a part in His vision, which only He can fulfill, He is providing yet another way for me to draw near to Him, for my faith to grow. He requires that I have faith and then gives me the means by which to obtain it. He truly has thought of everything.

What is so amazing to me is that He wants me to please Him. If I were God, would I care whether or not one measly little person pleased me? I mean, I'm God, right? Wipe her out and make a new one! But God really does desire that relationship with me so much! It's incredible the lengths He's gone to, to provide opportunity for that connection. Communion.

And what "He has prepared for those who love Him" we cannot come even close to imagining- no matter how creative a person you are, God has cornered the market. Infinite creativity + incomprehensible love = wow! Just look what He did in "6 days"!

Well, somewhere in this post, I hope, is a cohesive thought. My brain shut down about 45 minutes ago so I'm off to bed. I'll check back tomorrow and see if I can clear things up a bit. Until then, know that the great God of the Universe really is "out to get you", but not in the way many people seem to think. He loves you incredibly. He wants you to be with Him.

G-nite!

Royal Football

2007-02-23T23:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, so for those of you who may be reading here, this is from a writing exercise I did today. My son has a game called Write-A-Story. I drew cards from this game to give me characters, settings, events and conclusion. I did not use all the cards, but I did use most. This is a very rough version of what I came up with.

Royal Football

There once was a King named Hubert who lived in a beautiful white palace overlooking his realm. King Hubert was a kind and fair ruler, well-loved by all the people.

But King Hubert was bored.

He would often walk along the palace grounds and dream of battling fierce dragons, exploring unknown territories, rescuing damsels in distress. But, in the end, he would only sigh and hang his head knowing these things could never be.

"After all, who would look after my kingdom if I left?"

One day, the town crier came running through the village declaring the invention of a new sport...football. As King Hubert listened to the crier's explanation an idea began to form.

All through that afternoon, King Hubert thought and thought. He thought while eating his royal dinner. He thought while soaking in his royal tub. He thought until, at last, he fell asleep in his royal bed.

Early the next morning, King Hubert suddenly sat up in bed and declared, "That's it!"

He called for the royal gardeners and commanded them to mow down all of the flowers and bushes growing behind the palace. The gardeners were confused because this was King Hubert's favorite garden, but they obeyed.

Next, King Hubert called for the royal builders. He instructed them to take away the trees and level the ground.

"But wait until the royal gardeners have finished!"

The royal builders were confused because these were some of King Hubert's favorite trees, but they obeyed.

Just as the builders were about to remove the last tree, King Hubert had another idea.

"Spare the large oak tree...and build me a tree house!"

Then King Hubert called for the town crier to search far and wide for anyone who might be willing and able to complete the King's plan to form his very own football team.

Soon everything was in place. The field was ready. The royal football team was ready. King Hubert decided to dub them "The Knights."

The team from a neighboring kingdom was invited to play the first game.

King Hubert smiled as he climbed into his royal tree house to watch the game with the visiting king.

His team was called "The Dragons."

The End

Listen...

2007-02-23T00:18:00.000-08:00

Be Still. Hush. Listen.

What is it that you hear? Is that the voice of God calling? Or is it merely the beating of your heart? Do you hear the water cascading through the valley? Or is it the whisper of God's heart?

"Find me. Follow me. I will take you on a journey to a place you've never been. The way is long and sometimes hard. There are bends in the path, often where you least expect them. Don't worry. It's okay. Come with me. I know the way; I've been there before. We'll have an adventure together, full of fun, joy and, yes, sorrow too. But wait till you see where we're going! I came for you because I want you to go with me. I want you to be where I am. There are so many wonderful things I want to share with you. Please...come with me."

Do you hear His voice in the river's song?

"Walk with me awhile. Where I will take you is like nowhere you have ever been. Come, walk with me. I will not abandon you. You will not be betrayed by me. I love you. Be with me and we will walk hand-in-hand through the garden again. I will never leave you. I'll be right here, forever. Just don't turn away."

4/17/04

May each one of us hear the voice of God and follow.

My Favorite Candybar

2007-02-18T22:34:00.000-08:00

Okay, so after my previous post on the problem of child labor on cocoa farms I decided to check out Hershey's and Nestle's. The good news is I think my favorite candybar is safe. Both those companies, if their websites are to be believed, are working toward eliminating unsafe child labor practices. In addition, they appear to be encouraging education, better farming practices and community growth in farming areas. It all sounds good. I hope it is as good as it sounds. Sometimes it's hard to know what to believe.

I'm going to keep researching. I've got an inquiry into one of my favorite tea companies now. Maybe if more of us ask about fair trade more companies will partake in fair trade. It's worth a shot.

Let me know what you come up with!

later!

A Simple Path

2007-02-17T00:25:00.000-08:00

"There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God."

"When you know how much God is in love with you then you can only live your life radiating that love."

Mother Teresa ~ Meditations from A Simple Path

Thinking "Out Loud"

2007-02-15T23:44:00.000-08:00

I was just sitting here feeling the urge to write something significant and life-changing...and having absolutely no idea where to begin.

I've had so many thoughts in my head over the last couple of years. I want to share them with you, but it may take awhile to get them all out in a way that won't warp your brain.

One realization I've been coming to is that my ignorance and/or lack of involvement in global issues really does matter. It's not even the "I'm only one person, what could I do?" argument. I just really haven't put any effort toward understanding what's really happening in the world, on a deeper level. What I do, or don't do, has a significant impact on people I will never meet.

I mean, who really thinks about where the chocolate came from that you buy to satisfy the craving? And yet, I've just learned (www.stopthetraffik.org) that there are very few "fair trade" chocolate companies around. Much of chocolate we consume comes from cocoa beans picked by the hands of children- children who are forced to work.

Sort of kills the craving, doesn't it?

Now, I don't know much about the subject- very little, in fact, but I plan to find out more. I hope to learn more so that I can choose more wisely, and lovingly, where to put my money and my voice. I'm sure, even with the knowledge, it will still be quite challenging to change my habits and tastes and attitudes, but I aim to try.

It is my hope and prayer that you will do your own investigations and share your findings with me. Perhaps together we can do even more to change the circumstances of so many lives in this world. Lives which we will most likely never encounter.

Is it worth giving up your favorite candy bar?

Happy Valentine's Day!

2007-02-14T00:15:00.000-08:00

Also from the 1991 archives:

The Rose of Life

I see the roses Lord,

and I wonder why life
is not as beautiful.

Filled with the lovely scent
of Rose
Soft and delicate and free;
silky are her petals,
and leaves of greenest green.

Then I look again,

And I see that
the roses too, have
thorns
And the scent is not so
lofting

When its sweetness is not
shared
with others
passing through
this life.

The Candle and The Ring

2007-02-12T17:07:00.000-08:00

Here's a blast from the past. I wrote it in 1991.

The Candle and The Ring

As one is joined, and so the other,
Together the three shall stand;

Bound in a circle of infinite Love
Held by an Almighty hand.

One purpose: intent on God's glory;
Creation shouts out His praise;

One mind: gives way to His message;
By His will to live out their days.

One spirit: in joint admiration;
Led by the fire of His Love.

One love: unconditioned, eternal;
Bless-ed gift from Wisdom above.

Forever the flame is united;
United the flame will stand;

Bound in a circle of infinite Love
Held by an Almighty hand.

As one is joined, and so the other,
Together the three shall stand.

inspired by Phil 2:1f and Eccl 4:12b

BTW I know the punctuation's a little weird. I'll work on that.

Look! Twice in one day!

2007-02-11T22:07:00.000-08:00

Okay. The notebook I picked up starts in August of 2004. The entries begin during a time when I was feeling unsure of the example I was setting for my son, and the direction our relationship was going. He was almost 4 at the time. A lot of prayers went up at that time and they are still, continually, being answered. God is good!

What I prayed:

"Help me see inside of me
Illuminate the darkest of the dark within
Show me the way to go
So that I may move closer to you
I need to obey your beckoning call
Give me courage to do what I know

I need to pray; I need to be with you
How do I change my relationship with my son
Until I renew my relationship with you
How will my son know your love for him
Unless he sees my love for you"

It's interesting, on a side note, that line about the "beckoning call". That's been the main topic of conversation in class Sunday mornings for the last year or so. God has his own timing on things, doesn't he.

Many scriptures came my way during this struggle by way of answering this challenge of change. They remind me that when I offer myself to God He will transform me (Romans 12:1-2). I cannot transform myself, for that comes from deep within, at the core where only God can work. He will bring about the necessary changes when we allow Him full access. He knows what needs to change.

I am reminded to take one day at a time for each day has its own troubles (Matthew 6:11, 34). And each day brings its own blessings. If I keep looking into the future then I miss what's going on today. I need to be present here, now.

It is Christ's strength that allows me to do what needs doing. Christ's strength, not my own.

A positive mental outlook (Phil 4:8). Think about what is good. Don't worry about what may or may not happen. Focus on doing good not feeling good (Gal 5:16). Walk by the Spirit.

Be accountable (Prov 27:17). Learn. Grow.

Remember that God will keep working on you (me) and helping you grow in His grace. Focus on progress not perfection. God does the perfecting. We just bring Him the best we can and let Him do the rest.

Voluntarily submit to God and ask Him to change you.

"Do you realize how much God loves you?"

Okay, so here we are 3 yrs later and I can look back and say, "Wow!" It is really amazing how, when I moved the focus from my worries over my son's future (and my affect on that) to renewing my relationship with God, how much better my relationship with my son became.

I still struggle with it, but I've got a better handle on it than previously. What this experience tells me is that my relationship with God absolutely has to take precedence over all other relationships if I want those relationships to succeed.

I need to allow God full access to "me" and trust Him to do what's right. I need to be right here, right now and leave the future to God.

Reminds me of a video I saw a couple days ago about shepherds in the Negev. When you read Psalm 23 (or at least when I've read it) you picture lush green grass piled high with a flowing creek nearby. The reality is, however, that the "green pastures" are desert land with what seems to be sparse vegetation. The shepherds know where to go for the grass which feeds the flock. The flock does not worry about what they will eat in the evening, because they know the shepherd will feed them. They have grass in front of them "right now" and that is what they are content with. They will follow the shepherd wherever he goes because he always gives them what they need "right now".

We need to trust God to give us what we need "right now" and leave the future to Him.

Okay, here we go again!

2007-02-11T14:18:00.000-08:00

I just got lovingly yelled at today because I haven't been posting anything (Thanks Marty!). And here I thought no one was reading this stuff.

Part of my problem is I never know what to post on this thing. I was hit with the idea this morning that perhaps I should just go thru my journals. I have a bazillion notebooks laying around with various thoughts and ideas in them. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pick up a notebook and go thru it page by page, re-reading what's been written. As I do so, I will share with you some of those thoughts.

In this, I promise to be random, not chronological and not cohesive. If you choose to keep up with my ramblings I would appreciate any (constructive) comments you may have. Share your own related thoughts with me. Let me know you are there, otherwise I think I'm just talking to myself and things could get really weird!

Thanks for stopping by. I'll put up a post soon....really....I will!

I was just reading...

2007-01-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

a friend's blog and realized that it has been quite some time since I've been on my own. So, here I am.

It's been a busy day at our house. Artwork encompassed the entire morning, leaving just enough time for math & reading this afternoon. We made clay and formed images from it to bake and, later, paint.

Have you ever known a child who did not like to create? I think it must be some innate trait we have. A result of being created in the image of God, who is the ultimate artist. Creativity is in our genes, you might say. The next time you feel like being creative, go for it. Enjoy the moment, the process, the result. It's in your blood!

Until next time....

Tantrums

2007-01-16T00:24:00.000-08:00

My son got mad at me tonight. I went back to tuck him in bed. He was listening to stories on his CD player. It was really late so after the current story finished I turned it off. He has school tomorrow and I didn't want him to be tired and have a miserable day. I turned off the stories because I love him and I want what's best for him. He was mad and fussed. I told him I love him and wanted him to have plenty of rest for tomorrow. He told me he didn't want me to tuck him in. So, reluctantly, I left.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because I think I see a correlation between this occurrence and how we often respond to God. We want what we want and when God says "no", we get mad and send Him away. But why did God say "no"? Because He knows and wants what is best for us. When we send Him away, He goes. But He is always listening for you to call Him back. He loves you.

I was really sad when my son sent me away tonight. I wonder how much worse God must feel, knowing how much He loves us.

Something to think about....

The Quest

2007-01-03T00:13:00.000-08:00

In case you were wondering...

The Quest
...is a journey, but it is a journey with purpose.
...is a searching, a grasping for that which seems just out of reach.
...is a soul's yearning, a parched desert longing to be flooded in life-giving rain.
...is the path I walk in this journey of life.

I invite you to join me on The Quest.

Through this site I will share my life and discoveries with you in various forms- short stories, poems, ponderings, experiences. Always, you are welcome to read, contemplate, respond. I only ask that you do so with kindness and respect- just as you would enjoy.

I look forward to spending time with you.

So, what is art?

2006-12-30T00:24:00.000-08:00

This is quite a debate among a certain circle of artists I know. I am curious as to what the rest of you think. I am still struggling to come up with my own definition. Here's what I've got so far:

Art = intentional, creative expression toward the artist's purpose

That purpose may simply be the desire to create, or it may have an agenda such as expressing a belief or thought. It may be the artist's attempt to share him/her self or view point with those interested enough to contemplate. It may be a way to connect with others. The purpose may vary from piece to piece as well as from artist to artist.

Not much of a definition yet, but I'm working on it. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts on the topic. In the meantime, keep working on whatever art is yours to accomplish. We are, after all, created in the image of the Creator.

Happy Day After!

2006-12-26T09:57:00.000-08:00

My eyes are still bleary this morning at nearly 10am. We had a wonderful day yesterday. Thankfully, our son is not an early riser so we were able to sleep in a bit before being dragged out of bed to the happy cries of "Get up! It's Christmas!" There were many fun moments as the wrapping paper slowly (or not so slowly) buried the floor, leaving Zak amid the pile of new loot. Nutcrackers (he collects them), Legos, books, action figures... the promise of excitement to come as he puts each new item to use. (We got some great stuff, too!)

Then it was off to friends for food, fun, food, fellowship, food... By the end of the day, I understood why gluttony is a sin. But as I sit back and consider the joyous events of yesterday, I am reminded that not everyone's Christmas was fun. There is still war and many families are separated this year, some will never be reunited. There are still children going hungry and being orphaned at an alarming rate - it doesn't stop just because the calendar says "December 25". Closer to home, I received an email that a childhood friend's dad had a heart attack last night.

It was for reasons like this that Jesus came into the world. He came to "seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick..." (Ezekiel 34:16). He came to make his love for you known. He came to give us hope.

So, as we enjoy the bounty of this year's harvest and begin the process of annual reflection, take a moment to inventory all that you really have been blessed with. Then use it joyfully, thankfully, and bless others.

Here's to another New Year!

Merry Christmas!!

2006-12-24T00:29:00.000-08:00

Trying this blog-thing again! Obviously, it's been a couple years since my last post. Much has happened over that time, but I don't think I'll start with that. Let me just wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, a Merry Christmas and a fresh start for the New Year. May you recognize all the blessings in your life, especially the important ones (God, family, friends). May you be blessed even more in the coming year. May you share those blessings with others.

Thanks for stopping by!

I'm Back!

2004-11-13T19:11:00.000-08:00

Wow! Has it really been that long since my last (and first) entry? Where has the time gone?

As a homeschooling mom of one (a four yr. old boy), much of my time has been spent in rousing games of Go Fish and Higglytown Heroes. I have also spent a good deal of time printing out lessons and activities centered around the Thanksgiving and Advent seasons. Hence, my thoughts of late are also centered around such concepts as giving thanks, being thankful, the whole giving vs. receiving battle that circulates every year about this time....

Even as adults, we so often look to what we don't have, forgetting all too easily how much it is we do have. And if that's not a problem there's also the "What do I get for [so-n-so] for Christmas?" Our gifts and measurements so often seem to center around "things". Now, I like a good gift just as much as the next person, but I'm beginning to realize that the reality of having things is not all that it's cracked up to be.

My family and I live in a two bedroom apt. approximately 900 some-odd squ ft. Many people look at us and think, "Boy, they need a house! More room, bigger kitchen, fenced yard...." Granted, it would be nice to have those things- maybe (bigger means more upkeep and more expense)- but I have a slightly different take on "things". We go to Mexico every summer to build houses for families of 3-8 people (give or take) who live in make-shift shacks (gargage doors, tarps, odd plyboard, dirt floors). The spaces they live in are, at the biggest, the size of my bedroom. Even the places we build for them are smaller than our apt. So I look at my own place and now I don't think I need more space. I realize that, truly, we need less stuff!

So my challenge to you as we approach this holiday season, is to take a good long look at your life and be thankful, rejoice at what you do have. And maybe, rather than giving more things this year to people, find ways to bless them with yourself. Offer to help your neighbor/friend with a project. Buy the kids a zoo pass and then go with them. Give your wife the day off (a favorite of mine!) away from the kids and housework. Fix your husband his favorite meal, or give him coupons redeemable for a foot massage. You get the idea.

Who needs more stuff? We need each other!

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. "(John 15:13)

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)

"In every thing give thanks...." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Identity Crisis

2004-11-07T15:47:00.000-08:00

Here's something for us all to chew on.

In Robert S. McGee's book, The Search for Significance, he states the following:

"The fear of rejection is rampant, and loneliness is one of the most dangerous and widespread problems in America today. Some estimate that loneliness has already reached epidemic proportions and say that if it continues to spread, it could seriously erode the emotional strength of our country. Loneliness is not relegated only to unbelievers. Ninety-two percent of the Christians attending a recent Bible conference admitted in a survey that feelings of loneliness are a major problem in their lives. All shared a basic symptom: a sense of despair at feeling unloved and a fear of being unwanted or unaccepted. This is a tragic commentary on the people about whom Christ said: "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35)."

Ninety-two percent of Christians? That is a staggering number and evidence to me of an identity crisis among our people. I believe that if we truly understand who we are in Christ, and truly understand the nature of God, the feeling of being unloved, the fear of being unwanted, unaccepted would dissipate like the morning dew. If we are to take God at His word then several things must be true.

1) I am wonderful (this means you). "...I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139:14) The problem is, our soul seems to have forgotten...or else we're not listening.

2) I am forgiven. Have you ever known God to do anything half-way? I am reminded of the illustration that God has taken our sins, thrown them into the deepest ocean and has put up a "no fishing" sign. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness....And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins..." (1 John 1:9, 2:1-2). "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)

3) I am royalty. "...you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ..." (Romans 8:15-17)

4) I am chosen. "...He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him...(it was His unchanging plan to adopt us) as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will..." (Ephesians 1:4-6, NAS, NLT)

I could go on, and probably will as I journey to discover my own identity, for I am not without the same struggles listed in McGee's book. I will close this one entry for now, however, and I leave you with one more quote from The Search for Significance (chp. 4, God's Answer: Justification).

"When God considers you, does He deceive Himself in some way or does He know who you truly are?

If He knows who we truly are, then why do we preface His understanding of us with phrases such as "in God's eyes we are righteous" or "forgiven" or "loved" or "pleasing" and so on? Are we trying to say that God is not living in reality? That He is somehow involved in self-deception? Is He just some old grandparent type who wants to overlook the faults of His grandchildren? Either He really knows who you are or He doesn't. Playing with words this way keeps us from experiencing the reality of who we are. It also dishonors who God is.

The second question is, If you think of yourself differently than God thinks of you, who is mistaken, you or God? How often do we allow our minds to overrule what God says is true? Keep in mind, you were made by and for God. He has placed within you needs that only He can meet. If we try to have these needs met by another person or persons, we will end up frustrated, angry, and unfulfilled."

Until next time....

Welcome to My Blog

2004-11-06T01:11:00.000-08:00

Hi! Welcome to my page of ramblings. This blog is my attempt at several things, one of which is to oil my rusty writing hinges. I am also on a journey of discovery, and I invite you to come along for the ride. Perhaps amid my ventures, you too, may discover some things about yourself, about the world around, about the world to come. I welcome your comments along the way. I welcome you.