Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Spain 1

Okay, so I've been asked to talk about what happened in Spain that so greatly impacted my life. Rather than try to articulate events which occurred nearly 15 (gulp!) years ago, I've decided to actually take you there. Over the next several days I will post entries from my travel journal (unless you tell me you've had enough) so that you can read what my thoughts were at the time. Hopefully that will give you some idea of the how, what & why that I occasionally refer to.

Keeping in mind the preceding events of the canceled Honduras trip, which I am convinced God orchestrated, the story unfolds with this first, pre-trip entry, dated 5/31/1992:

To Spain

Shall I tell you my feelings, my thoughts as I prepare to embark upon this journey to a distant culture?

People say, "Wow! I bet you're excited! That sounds like fun; you're going to have a great time...." In fact, my feelings are a bit contrary to what most would expect...quite a bit contrary.

"Do I want to go?" Yes. "Am I looking forward to this trip?" Decidedly. However, at the same time, I approach this experience with caution.

I know I will change. I know things back home will be different upon my return. I know it will hurt. I know I will be challenged.

So why am I going? Because I need to change; I need to grow...that always comes with some pain. I need to have challenge to spur me on to greater quality of life, true life. I need this experience to help others see, near and abroad, what I already know in my heart to be true. I need to better define this truth within my own life that my life may truly become my "spiritual act of worship" toward God; that I my become salt in the most sincere of ways; that my heart may become as God has intended it, me, to be from the beginning.

Why am I going? I love God and want to be like Him in all my ways...and I love the adventure that living with God never fails to bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, February 26, 2007

Earthquake!

Just remembering...

I grew up with a belief in God- in His existence anyway. My parents were believers. I was baptized, along with my dad, when I was 13 and have been in the Church ever since. Typically, I have attended churches of Christ (instrumental) or christian churches. But I have also darkened the doorways of Messianic churches, assemblies of God, a cappella churches of Christ (well, one anyway). Never had anybody really study with me and in one way that was good because I never was "indoctrinated" with any particular denomination. Mostly I learned from Scripture and observation.

Even so, I still ended up with this view of God that was less than complete, fallible human that I am. My image of God was of sort of a giant teddy bear, if you will. A Father whose lap I could climb into for a hug on a good day or a bad one. And that is true, but it is far from complete. I mean, I knew God was holy and sin could not dwell in His presence, etc, etc. But I didn't KNOW it. Know what I mean? It was words.

Well, one year I was planning a short term missions trip with a couple of friends to Honduras. We were going to spend the summer at a medical mission. Well, the countdown had begun. I had the time off work (actually, I think I had quit my job), had my passport up to date, all that. What we did not have was the go-ahead from Honduras. They were in the middle of some administrative changes and did not communicate with us but maybe once or twice. We ended up canceling the trip.

In the meantime, another friend had been planning a trip to Spain to visit her missionary cousin. She found out that my trip was history and invited me on hers. Spain? I'd never even considered it, but okay. Why not?

Well, to make a long story short, I believe God had had this in mind all along. Amid riots, earthquakes, delayed flights, being stuck at the airport in a foreign country and some very powerful answers to prayer, God revealed my distorted image of Himself.

It was positively frightening. I was shaken to the core...and that was a good thing. I have come away from that experience with some much needed perspective. God is so much bigger than we can imagine; we are so much smaller than we think.

But God has chosen to love us. He has given the best that He has to offer so that we can be with Him. Talk about perspective!

Before my trip to Spain, I prayed that my faith would grow and be more real. If you are honestly praying for your faith to grow, hang on. It's gonna be a crazy ride!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Visionary Faith 1

"However, as it is written: no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him - But God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God." 1 Cor. 2:9-10

It was said earlier today, essentially, that God often calls us to partake in His vision; a vision which we could never accomplish on our own. It is God's vision.

Now, you could say that seems pretty mean, to ask me to do something He knows full well I cannot do...until you look at all the scriptures that assure us it is by His power, His grace, His name that it is accomplished.

These tasks He gives to each individual are designed to make us reliant upon Him. Hebrews 11 states that "without faith it is impossible to please God." So by giving me a part in His vision, which only He can fulfill, He is providing yet another way for me to draw near to Him, for my faith to grow. He requires that I have faith and then gives me the means by which to obtain it. He truly has thought of everything.

What is so amazing to me is that He wants me to please Him. If I were God, would I care whether or not one measly little person pleased me? I mean, I'm God, right? Wipe her out and make a new one! But God really does desire that relationship with me so much! It's incredible the lengths He's gone to, to provide opportunity for that connection. Communion.

And what "He has prepared for those who love Him" we cannot come even close to imagining- no matter how creative a person you are, God has cornered the market. Infinite creativity + incomprehensible love = wow! Just look what He did in "6 days"!


Well, somewhere in this post, I hope, is a cohesive thought. My brain shut down about 45 minutes ago so I'm off to bed. I'll check back tomorrow and see if I can clear things up a bit. Until then, know that the great God of the Universe really is "out to get you", but not in the way many people seem to think. He loves you incredibly. He wants you to be with Him.

G-nite!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Royal Football

Okay, so for those of you who may be reading here, this is from a writing exercise I did today. My son has a game called Write-A-Story. I drew cards from this game to give me characters, settings, events and conclusion. I did not use all the cards, but I did use most. This is a very rough version of what I came up with.

Royal Football

There once was a King named Hubert who lived in a beautiful white palace overlooking his realm. King Hubert was a kind and fair ruler, well-loved by all the people.

But King Hubert was bored.

He would often walk along the palace grounds and dream of battling fierce dragons, exploring unknown territories, rescuing damsels in distress. But, in the end, he would only sigh and hang his head knowing these things could never be.

"After all, who would look after my kingdom if I left?"

One day, the town crier came running through the village declaring the invention of a new sport...football. As King Hubert listened to the crier's explanation an idea began to form.

All through that afternoon, King Hubert thought and thought. He thought while eating his royal dinner. He thought while soaking in his royal tub. He thought until, at last, he fell asleep in his royal bed.

Early the next morning, King Hubert suddenly sat up in bed and declared, "That's it!"

He called for the royal gardeners and commanded them to mow down all of the flowers and bushes growing behind the palace. The gardeners were confused because this was King Hubert's favorite garden, but they obeyed.

Next, King Hubert called for the royal builders. He instructed them to take away the trees and level the ground.

"But wait until the royal gardeners have finished!"

The royal builders were confused because these were some of King Hubert's favorite trees, but they obeyed.

Just as the builders were about to remove the last tree, King Hubert had another idea.

"Spare the large oak tree...and build me a tree house!"

Then King Hubert called for the town crier to search far and wide for anyone who might be willing and able to complete the King's plan to form his very own football team.

Soon everything was in place. The field was ready. The royal football team was ready. King Hubert decided to dub them "The Knights."

The team from a neighboring kingdom was invited to play the first game.

King Hubert smiled as he climbed into his royal tree house to watch the game with the visiting king.

His team was called "The Dragons."

The End

Listen...

Be Still. Hush. Listen.

What is it that you hear? Is that the voice of God calling? Or is it merely the beating of your heart? Do you hear the water cascading through the valley? Or is it the whisper of God's heart?

"Find me. Follow me. I will take you on a journey to a place you've never been. The way is long and sometimes hard. There are bends in the path, often where you least expect them. Don't worry. It's okay. Come with me. I know the way; I've been there before. We'll have an adventure together, full of fun, joy and, yes, sorrow too. But wait till you see where we're going! I came for you because I want you to go with me. I want you to be where I am. There are so many wonderful things I want to share with you. Please...come with me."

Do you hear His voice in the river's song?

"Walk with me awhile. Where I will take you is like nowhere you have ever been. Come, walk with me. I will not abandon you. You will not be betrayed by me. I love you. Be with me and we will walk hand-in-hand through the garden again. I will never leave you. I'll be right here, forever. Just don't turn away."

4/17/04

May each one of us hear the voice of God and follow.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

My Favorite Candybar

Okay, so after my previous post on the problem of child labor on cocoa farms I decided to check out Hershey's and Nestle's. The good news is I think my favorite candybar is safe. Both those companies, if their websites are to be believed, are working toward eliminating unsafe child labor practices. In addition, they appear to be encouraging education, better farming practices and community growth in farming areas. It all sounds good. I hope it is as good as it sounds. Sometimes it's hard to know what to believe.

I'm going to keep researching. I've got an inquiry into one of my favorite tea companies now. Maybe if more of us ask about fair trade more companies will partake in fair trade. It's worth a shot.

Let me know what you come up with!

later!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

A Simple Path

"There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God."

"When you know how much God is in love with you then you can only live your life radiating that love."

Mother Teresa ~ Meditations from A Simple Path

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Thinking "Out Loud"

I was just sitting here feeling the urge to write something significant and life-changing...and having absolutely no idea where to begin.

I've had so many thoughts in my head over the last couple of years. I want to share them with you, but it may take awhile to get them all out in a way that won't warp your brain.

One realization I've been coming to is that my ignorance and/or lack of involvement in global issues really does matter. It's not even the "I'm only one person, what could I do?" argument. I just really haven't put any effort toward understanding what's really happening in the world, on a deeper level. What I do, or don't do, has a significant impact on people I will never meet.

I mean, who really thinks about where the chocolate came from that you buy to satisfy the craving? And yet, I've just learned (www.stopthetraffik.org) that there are very few "fair trade" chocolate companies around. Much of chocolate we consume comes from cocoa beans picked by the hands of children- children who are forced to work.

Sort of kills the craving, doesn't it?

Now, I don't know much about the subject- very little, in fact, but I plan to find out more. I hope to learn more so that I can choose more wisely, and lovingly, where to put my money and my voice. I'm sure, even with the knowledge, it will still be quite challenging to change my habits and tastes and attitudes, but I aim to try.

It is my hope and prayer that you will do your own investigations and share your findings with me. Perhaps together we can do even more to change the circumstances of so many lives in this world. Lives which we will most likely never encounter.

Is it worth giving up your favorite candy bar?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day!

Also from the 1991 archives:

The Rose of Life

I see the roses Lord,

and I wonder why life
is not as beautiful.

Filled with the lovely scent
of Rose
Soft and delicate and free;
silky are her petals,
and leaves of greenest green.

Then I look again,

And I see that
the roses too, have
thorns
And the scent is not so
lofting

When its sweetness is not
shared
with others
passing through
this life.

Monday, February 12, 2007

The Candle and The Ring

Here's a blast from the past. I wrote it in 1991.

The Candle and The Ring

As one is joined, and so the other,
Together the three shall stand;

Bound in a circle of infinite Love
Held by an Almighty hand.

One purpose: intent on God's glory;
Creation shouts out His praise;

One mind: gives way to His message;
By His will to live out their days.

One spirit: in joint admiration;
Led by the fire of His Love.

One love: unconditioned, eternal;
Bless-ed gift from Wisdom above.

Forever the flame is united;
United the flame will stand;

Bound in a circle of infinite Love
Held by an Almighty hand.

As one is joined, and so the other,
Together the three shall stand.

inspired by Phil 2:1f and Eccl 4:12b

BTW I know the punctuation's a little weird. I'll work on that.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Look! Twice in one day!

Okay. The notebook I picked up starts in August of 2004. The entries begin during a time when I was feeling unsure of the example I was setting for my son, and the direction our relationship was going. He was almost 4 at the time. A lot of prayers went up at that time and they are still, continually, being answered. God is good!

What I prayed:

"Help me see inside of me
Illuminate the darkest of the dark within
Show me the way to go
So that I may move closer to you
I need to obey your beckoning call
Give me courage to do what I know

I need to pray; I need to be with you
How do I change my relationship with my son
Until I renew my relationship with you
How will my son know your love for him
Unless he sees my love for you"

It's interesting, on a side note, that line about the "beckoning call". That's been the main topic of conversation in class Sunday mornings for the last year or so. God has his own timing on things, doesn't he.

Many scriptures came my way during this struggle by way of answering this challenge of change. They remind me that when I offer myself to God He will transform me (Romans 12:1-2). I cannot transform myself, for that comes from deep within, at the core where only God can work. He will bring about the necessary changes when we allow Him full access. He knows what needs to change.

I am reminded to take one day at a time for each day has its own troubles (Matthew 6:11, 34). And each day brings its own blessings. If I keep looking into the future then I miss what's going on today. I need to be present here, now.

It is Christ's strength that allows me to do what needs doing. Christ's strength, not my own.

A positive mental outlook (Phil 4:8). Think about what is good. Don't worry about what may or may not happen. Focus on doing good not feeling good (Gal 5:16). Walk by the Spirit.

Be accountable (Prov 27:17). Learn. Grow.

Remember that God will keep working on you (me) and helping you grow in His grace. Focus on progress not perfection. God does the perfecting. We just bring Him the best we can and let Him do the rest.

Voluntarily submit to God and ask Him to change you.

"Do you realize how much God loves you?"

Okay, so here we are 3 yrs later and I can look back and say, "Wow!" It is really amazing how, when I moved the focus from my worries over my son's future (and my affect on that) to renewing my relationship with God, how much better my relationship with my son became.

I still struggle with it, but I've got a better handle on it than previously. What this experience tells me is that my relationship with God absolutely has to take precedence over all other relationships if I want those relationships to succeed.

I need to allow God full access to "me" and trust Him to do what's right. I need to be right here, right now and leave the future to God.

Reminds me of a video I saw a couple days ago about shepherds in the Negev. When you read Psalm 23 (or at least when I've read it) you picture lush green grass piled high with a flowing creek nearby. The reality is, however, that the "green pastures" are desert land with what seems to be sparse vegetation. The shepherds know where to go for the grass which feeds the flock. The flock does not worry about what they will eat in the evening, because they know the shepherd will feed them. They have grass in front of them "right now" and that is what they are content with. They will follow the shepherd wherever he goes because he always gives them what they need "right now".

We need to trust God to give us what we need "right now" and leave the future to Him.

Okay, here we go again!

I just got lovingly yelled at today because I haven't been posting anything (Thanks Marty!). And here I thought no one was reading this stuff.

Part of my problem is I never know what to post on this thing. I was hit with the idea this morning that perhaps I should just go thru my journals. I have a bazillion notebooks laying around with various thoughts and ideas in them. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pick up a notebook and go thru it page by page, re-reading what's been written. As I do so, I will share with you some of those thoughts.

In this, I promise to be random, not chronological and not cohesive. If you choose to keep up with my ramblings I would appreciate any (constructive) comments you may have. Share your own related thoughts with me. Let me know you are there, otherwise I think I'm just talking to myself and things could get really weird!

Thanks for stopping by. I'll put up a post soon....really....I will!